bad memories

1

LISTEN TO COME HOME BY ONE REPUBLIC

1.1

Dear Jack, 

It's been one month. One month of crying and missing you. One month of trying to convince myself you aren't gone. That you're just playing games. That you're just being the usual asshole you always are. That you're just messing with me. Oh, but I know you aren't. 

I'm not even sure why I'm doing this. Apparently writing down your emotions can help get rid of them or something, I don't know. Dr. Greene suggested it. That's the psychiatrist everyone's forcing me to go see. She hasn't been helping much, but I guess she's okay. It's not like I can talk to any of our friends about this. They remind me too much of you. I feel bad, because they're all trying to help. Visiting me daily, filling me in on gossip. But I just can't do it. I can't let anyone in anymore. Remember that? That's what I told you, over and over again. Look where that got me. 

Oh Jack, please come back. If you can hear me, please come back. Give me a sign you can hear this. Any sign. Anything. Just something to make me stop crying, to make me forget you, to stop this insane pain. Out of all those times you've been to the hospitals with me, this hurts 100% more. This feels like someone ripped away my heart, and jumped on it until it broke into 100 pieces. This feels like someone has token all I've ever known, and refused me to learn anything else. You're all I've ever known, baby. You're all that's ever given me pure happiness. If I hadn't of danced with you that one night, at that one infamous party of yours, none of this would of happened. I may not have been happy, but I would be fine. And I wouldn't of felt this incredible heartbreak. 

Jack, make it stop. Make the tears stop. Make the pain stop. Come home, baby. Please, just come home.

Love, Erica 

1.2

"Jack, I told you! I can't let you in!" I screamed, sinking against the wall. I had drank way too much at whoever's party we were at. 

"Erica, stop!" He yelled as I picked up whatever was next to me, throwing it across the room. I think it was my phone. 

"Everyone leaves! Everyone hurts me!" I screamed louder, glad my parents weren't in to hear my stupid meltdown. 

"I'm not going to leave1" He screamed, still standing at my doorway as tears streamed down my face. 

"Yes you are! Just like everyone else, Charlie, my parents, everyone!" I yelled, tugging at my hair. 

"Charlie?" He questioned.

"Why do they leave?" I ignored his question, my voice louder the ever. I closed my eyes, my sobs echoing through the room. When I opened them, Jack sat in front of me. 

"I'm not going to leave." He mumbled, placing a hand on my thigh. I flinched away, still not used to the loving touch. 

"Yes you are! Stop lying!" I screamed, banging my fists against my hardwood floor. 

"I'm going to be here through everything." 

"No! You'll stop caring, stop calling, stop coming home. You'll stop caring, Jack! I know you will!"

"Erica. Please, stop." He sat next to me. I turned to face him. 

"I can't let you in." I mumbled, looking down at my shoes. He grabbed my chin, forcing me to look up.

"I. Will. Never. Leave you." He said forcefully. 

"Promise?" I asked softly, biting my lip. 

"I promise." He slightly smiled. "I will never leave your side." 

" Don't leave." I mumbled, resting my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes. 

"I won't." 

"I can't fall in love with you." I mumbled, so softly I was sure he didn't hear me. 

"Why not?"

"Don't fall in love with me, I won't be able to return the favour." I answered, sleep taking over my body. 

so hi again! in case you haven't realized in every chapter there will be a letter followed by a flashback relating to the chapter. so i hope you like and comment alot so i know this is good and i won't delete... love you all!!!