Life After Near Death

Rainfall

"If I were rain,

That joins sky and earth that otherwise never touch,

Could I join two hearts as well?"

― Tite Kubo

Natsu felt better by mid-summer, and Gray's strength had vastly improved. They raced each other a few times a week, no matter where they were heading. If it was just out to the guild pool, they were even. If it was out to a café in town, Natsu was usually faster, but if it was a long distance, like to the train station, Natsu had to quit running before he even reached there, finding himself gasping for air. Gray was still slow and his leg felt fatigued; Natsu lost his breath far quicker than he normally would and felt hesitant to push himself whenever he felt tightness in his chest. They both had healing to endure.

Still, nothing could stop these two opposites anymore. They were liberated from the confines of convalescence, they felt more comfortable around one another than they had been in almost a year, and they were determined to make up for lost time. They argued, they brawled, they laughed and went on missions. It was like the old days, their team reunited, everyone happy and working together.

Then Juvia would come over and give Gray a kiss. Natsu always diverted his eyes. It still hurt to see them together.

"Are you and Juvia in love?" he asked Gray one day when it was just the two of them practicing magic up on a hillside outside of town.

Gray looked over in surprise. "Well, we're dating."

"That doesn't necessarily mean you're in love." He had never told Gray that he heard what the ice wizard said in the hospital, that he had never been in love before, and Gray refused to let Natsu be his first love. He always felt bad about that. Juvia was obviously enamored with Gray. If Gray was using her just so he would not be in love...

'It's not like he'd ever fall in love with me, anyway.'

"We ... um..." Gray glanced around sharply. "Is she nearby?" he whispered.

Natsu took a deep sniff. "Just us."

"She's a sweetheart," Gray said hesitantly, "but ... how can I put it? I really care for her but ... I just don't ... not really and truly..."

Natsu looked over in surprise. "Wait a minute! You've been dating for three months and you don't love her?"

"I like her a lot," he corrected, "but as a girlfriend."

Natsu scratched his head. "Hmm ... I don't get it."

"You've never had a girlfriend, have you?"

"Not really," Natsu muttered awkwardly.

Rei-chan did not count. She taught him how to kiss and be attentive to a partner; there was no love between them. He and Lisanna had been too young, although he did care about her back then, maybe liked her. Lots of people thought he and Lucy were a couple, and although she was fun to be around and really cute, she kept their relationship strictly as teammates. Besides, now she and Loke were a secretive couple, sneaking off to be together, although the whole guild knew they were dating.

Gray tried to think about how to explain it. "Girlfriends are fun, and you can like them a lot, but ... maybe it's just me, but I consider love to be something a lot more. You can like lots of people, but you probably only love a few people in your life."

Natsu thought about it. He supposed it made sense. "You like friends, but you love a mate."

"Is that something Igneel told you? It sounds like something a dragon would say."