jesus x lucifer

chap 1

god was sitting in his office. he was doing the usual paper work, register the new souls and stuff. he was not, what mortals would think he looked like. not in the slitlghtest. he wore a red flannel, the sleves rolled up, exposing his very VERY muscular arms. he wore his long hair in a messy low man-bun. as he wrote something into his Journal, his assistant, michelle, called him. "uhm god?-",
"yes michelle, what is it. you know im very busy."
"yes sir but you might have to pause your current activities.."
god could already smell, what would be the matter. he sighed.
"alright, what did he do now again?"
he could hear voicea from michelles side. "dont fucking call him??? MICHELLE I SWEAR TO GOD" - "your father literally IS god! -sorry sir, i will send him into your office so you can talk to him yourself." god rubbed his eyes. what happened? why did his son become... like lucifer? he remembered when he threw that guy from heaven. he really thought, he was so smart, rebelling against him, the literal god? lord of the universe? father and creator of life? he was clueless. he wrote something onto his noteblock, when he could already hear the yelling of his already grown up child. the door got slammed open and the young man got kicked into the room by an angel, closed the door behind him with a bang. god looked down to the floor. "jesus, sit down."

jesus stood up, brushed off some dust on his ripped pants with his hands and sat onto the chair. his brown skin was dirty with some spots of blood that seem like someone tried to clean them off with bare hand and no water. "what the heck did you do" god said with strict voice. he stared at his sons dark very messy hair. "dad i swear it wasnt my fault! grace made fun of me having no mother! its her fault!" "and you answered with what?" jesus was silent. "you know", god added, "lying doesnt help you, michelle told me already. i want to hear it from you." he stared into his sons eyes. the boy felt so powerless in that moment - well of course, his father is the creator of everything and anything and bla bla bla. he was sick of his dad. everything was apperanly a sin. making out with other men. not marrying. man, marrige was jesus's biggest nightmare. he always saw the mortals marry in churches, getting 'gods blessing'.. why was the earth so obsessed with him? most things in the bible werent even up to date. "do not murder" yeah no shit sherlock? in those rules is all the basic shit, youre not a good person just because you do the literal bare minimum. "i am waiting." jesus got ripped out of his thoughts. "i.. burned her house down." god wasnt shocked, since that actually happened already not so long ago. he just stared at his son. "dad.." "shut up. im thinking." minutes passed without a word. god saw something on jesus' neck. was that... no way. no fucking way. a tattoo?! it was a small text with calligraphic font, saying "go to hell". thats it.
"jesus, i do not tolerate your behaviour anymore. im SICK OF IT." he yelled out while banging onto his desk.
"go to hell."
"wha-" jesus couldnt even finish his word and he got sucked into the floor. god called his assistant. "Michelle, tell Lucifer, he's now responsible for Jesus until he learns to behave."