Even though we aren't together, I still want to hang out because I don't want to be lonely this summer. I wanna break down and start crying because I'm afraid that's not going to happen and I'm not gonna have you and might not date you anymore. I'm sorry if you don't like the way I am but I'm sorry. I feel so stupid like its my fault that we are like this. I'm sorry we can't get close. I'm sorry I lash out on you,but you're the only one who will help and not give me some smart ass comment. While your out with you boyfriend, I'm stuck at home loosing my mind. (Even though I was only invited twice.) I try to control my feelings,try to show I'm mature,trying not to breakdown and cry. I'm becoming more paranoid. I'm trying to stay calm and not screw up. Everyday at home and at school,I fight back the tears. I want to be able to be close to you and date you again,but I also don't want to betray a friend. I'm sick of it. Sick of my emotions. Sick of not being loved. Sick of being broken because you're parents think I'm a jerk. Once I started to come over all you really had to do was ask and I would come over. If you wanted me to do something, just ask. Someone pick on you and I'm not around,just ask,I'll tell them off. Want me to come over because you're having a bad day,ask me I'll be over. Bored and got nothing to do,ask me I'll come over and I'll give you something to do. Siblings bothering you,ask me I'll come over and we can ask to go on a walk. Parents fighting,kik me and open up,I'll calm ya down. If you want something of mine, idc just ask I'll give it to you. (As long as it is reasonable.) Want me to go somewhere with you, just ask I'll try to. If you went to test me go ahead.
Hey guys been up since 4:50 writing this. Trying not to loose my mind =-D. Might write later on. Caio
