Psychodysleptic || Soukoku

3|| Third Month: Spring Is About To End... Just Like My Time...

Hello ^-^! 

How are you all? 

I'm sorry for my absence! 

I have upcoming exams on July 23 and August 6... The results will be announced at August 15... If I can't pass this exam, my dad will definitely kill me... 

Warning! 

- Angsty chapter! 

If you don't like angst, please don't read the chapter. I won't tolerate any hate comments. 

Anyway, enjoy ^-^! 

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

May 17 2021, Monday 

Dazai hated Mondays... Detective agency would have the busiest days on Mondays... That meant he had less time which he could spend with Chuuya. 

Dazai was always grumpy on Mondays, but he was somehow able to put up with it because he knew that having busy Mondays meant he could spend the rest of the week with Chuuya. He wanted to make sure the rest of their time together was special and memorable... Chuuya had left 15 months to live... If he was lucky of course... 

Chuuya's insomnia had gotten worse. He maybe slept 4 or 5 hours in total in 19 days... Or maybe even less... As familial fatal insomnia was consuming Chuuya day by day, Dazai felt helpless... Chuuya was slowly dying and Dazai felt helpless like he never felt before... He had nothing to do but making Chuuya as comfortable as possible... 

He had been researching for it for days, searching through archives, reading medical journals and studies and even talking to different experts and specialists. He even prepared scented warm baths for Chuuya to relieve any tension or stress. However he knew any of these were not a cure for familial fatal insomnia. 

He would sit with Chuuya until morning while he was suffering from his illness and try to cheer him up with his endless jokes and stories. He also bought him medicines to help him get more rest and also he would massage his temples to help him reduce his stress. In the end, Dazai could do nothing but offer Chuuya his love and support... He was watching the one he loved was slowly fading away... 

Dazai was heartbroken even if he never confessed it to himself or to Chuuya. No matter how heartbroken he was, he was determined to stay by Chuuya's side. He wanted Chuuya to know that he was loved and that he was not alone. 

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

It was raining that night and Dazai hated rain as much as he hated Mondays... The gloomy weather was suffocating him... He had stayed cooped up in the apartment which he was sharing with Chuuya, trying to will away his dampened spirits. He couldn't focus on his work and he didn't feel like reading or writing any of his stories. Instead, he just laid on the bed, listening to the patter of rain on the window, feeling sorrowful than ever. 

After a while, he couldn't take it anymore. He had to get out of the house. He glanced at Chuuya who was laying on the couch in front of the large windows. His eyes were closed, but Dazai knew he was not sleeping. He didn't say anything. He didn't want to disturb Chuuya. He pulled on a coat and a beanie, it was belong to Chuuya, and stepped out into the cold, wet rain. 

The air was thick with humidity and it felt good on his skin. He started to walk aimlessly and soon he found himself strolling through the city's parks and streets. The cold rain was oddly comforing, the only sound aside from his own breathing. 

Rainy days were perfect to cry... Dazai felt a tear trickled down his cheek. He sobbed for a few minutes. He eventually stopped sobbing and took a breath of the damp air and began walking back to home.