Pacific Rim oneshots

Just One Touch Would Be Enough, It'd Be Everything

The gist of it: Raleigh's experiencing the aftereffects of drifting for the first time in over five years. However, it's possible he isn't the only one.

(This takes right place after Mako and Raleigh's first time fighting kaijus together in Gipsy Danger)

Raleigh Becket is doing great right now, really, he is. Believe him, sitting here with a barely eaten tray of food, feeling better than he ever could be, hardly hearing whatever Chuck is telling his father Herc- he's probably just feeding his own ego so Raleigh most likely isn't missing anything important while he gets stuck in his head and continues to be completely alright.

He and Mako had successfully brought down two kaijus, Leatherback and Otachi and man it does feel pretty good- the winning part. He nearly felt complete for a moment, the battle over as the adrenaline still kept him alert and their breathing still needed to slow down a little. It almost was just him and Mako for a second, minds connected and pride and satisfaction making them grin with victory in their hands as they looked at each other. Just them, existing in the jaeger and nothing but smiles and wordlessly shared thoughts and feelings of momentary relief and success.

But of course, the mission wasn't over- isn't over and according to Gottleb's predictions, the next time kaijus come through the breach they'll be three. So there's not any time to waste, there never was, so they got Gipsy Danger back to the base and now Raleigh's sitting here, refueling on whatever he has barely touched in front of him and of course, feeling wonderful.

Wonderful as in full of wondering over the what-ifs, that is. Raleigh is currently so hung up on what he's making up in his mind he can't focus on what's happening outside of his head. He goes to grab his fork and completely misses it as something suddenly starts stirring deep in his chest as he questions the possibility of whatever's got him this time, hand coming up empty and nearly reaching his mouth before he gives up on eating all together and places his elbows on the table. Here, he lets himself fully indulge in the events in his brain.

See, he's not a really good lair and he feels like shit right now, like he'd rather be scolded by Pentecost, the damn Marshal, than exist how he is right now.

He wants to dissolve into nothing because he knows the exact thing that'll fix all of this is also just near unreachable, unattainable, and frankly, unreasonable to even want let alone need.

Yet here he is, thinking about having what he can't.

The worst part may be that he doesn't see himself getting any help soon and that unfortunately, it's just something that happens after drifting with someone. So yes, it'll get even worse after they return (Not if they return, but when) from destroying the breach once and for all.

Raleigh will need even more.

He'll need Mako. He'll need her just like he does right now because by gods he is not doing well without her.

Raleigh wonders if this whole ordeal he's facing is being made extra worse due to never drifting with someone in five years. Perhaps, just maybe, being connected to his brother when he died and not being able to just stick to him after drifting is making this all ten times more shitty than it ever was. It just might be possible that after losing Yancy and not being able to cope how he normally did has him strangled and desperately wishing to cope with Mako, how it should be.

It all could be possible but really the reasons don't matter, he just wishes Mako was at least sitting across from him right now because it is awful without her. He can't even properly think, Mako was doing that with him earlier and the sudden lack of her presence is ripping him from the inside out.