I love you. Notti Osama.

Star Shopping.

Y/N POV , Harlem, New York.

My phone flooded with messages, all of them were fake and nobody cared until someone was dead.

I felt so weird. I wouldn't leave Notti's room and whenever I tried, I would feel everything all over again...So, I just stayed.

My feelings weren't there. I mean, I was angry and hurt and just overall mentally unstable. I could cry, but I couldn't really speak, eat, or think. I just did whatever came to my mind. But, everytime I looked in the mirror, I just looked...different.

(Btw, you were working on becoming a singer and shii, so basically think of Star Shopping by Lil Peep with the lyrics a little bitre arranged.)

I opened an empty notebook and grabbed a pen and just wrote whatever came to my mind.

I'm right here. You said you'd be back in a while, I know I was  important to you, but to me, you were so much more than worth it, so much more than perfect. Right now, I know that I'm not really  okay, but I promised, so, my love, I'll work on it. Give me some time and I'll work on it. I'm losin' my mind, but how can you blame me? The earth's in rotation, without you here. I wish I could see your face, now all these fake people around me. They all used to hate you and me. Fuck 'em though, we coulda made it ourselves. Matter fact, they never knew me and now they feel sorry for me? We used to sit right here, bae, just you and me. Nobody cared as much as you did. That's why it hurts, I thought some day we'd me famous together, makin' our money and smokin' our weed. I think that it's funny, they suddenly know me, they think that the all cool wit me, they sayin' they love me, they sayin' they here, but they only want money and  fame. I know I'm not out there like they want me to be. You said you were dangerous to be with, but I said I'd walk it with you. My love, I would kill em for you. But I need to get better, I made you a promise when you died in my lap, can I have 5 more minutes at least? Just to tell you how much you did mean. You helped me get better, you were the one thing keeping my peace. I looked at the sky last night, is there even a reason? A reason to stay, a reason like you when I'm fallin' to pieces. I looked at the sky tonight, you were my only good reason.

I looked at it and I decided I wanted everyone-- every fake person at least, to know how I really felt. So i called my studio guy. His name is Dontrell.

"Hello?" Dontrell asked into the phone.

"I have a song and a track, when can I come in?" I mumbled, this was the first time I was hearing my own voice since...nevermind.

"Uh, today, actually. I know how you feel so I won't ask if you're ok, because that seems mad dayroom, so the stu always here if you need to vent." He spoke after a second

"Yeah, thanks. I'm coming by now." I was glad he understood how I felt. I just wish people would leave me alone.

I stood from the desk as I dragged my feet across the floor, making my way to the bathroom, and I saw Momma Osama. "Hey honey." Her eyes were red and her voice was as weak as mine.

I walked to her and hugged her, as I looked into her eyes and forced a warm smile before walking away.

Nobody really wanted to be around anybody, so we all understood one unspoken thing: A couple minutes-- Ten, tops, then, leave. Simple.

DD's room was right before the bathroom and I knocked lightly.

I heard him clear his throat. "Come in." His voice cracked.

I walked in and saw him trying to write something, with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Can you help me with this? It's a..um. Something for Notti, it's called Letter 2 Notti." He looked at me for a second.

"Yeah, but let's be quick I got one I already wrote, I'm going to the stu now." I gave him a hug before sitting beside him.

"So far, I have, 'It ain't over Notti' that's all." Dd's leg shook.

"Imma do this for you and mami." I mumbled, thinking.

"Told her be strong, yeah, I got her beside me when I'm on these streets yeah I'm totin' a hottie like..." DD finished with a smile.

"I lost Notti I lost myself..." I said, deep in thought as dd was writing everything down. "OH! I got it! I lost Notti, I lost myself Ain't no thing that can heal, yeah, this shit done got real Lot of niggas gon' die 'cause they talk on your name I just hope that it ain't, when I'm ready to flame, like Hop Out Gang, do 'em dirty Put him on a chain, died by a .30 Talkin' on Notti, send shots to your brain I don't care, bitch, you goin' insane, like And I promise, they gon' feel this pain I'ma do it for you, yeah, that's word to your name Goin' through it, I cannot explain I got emotions that I can not tame Don't know if life gon' be the same I lost my twin, yeah, I'm goin' insane Don't know if life gon' be the same

I" lost my twin, yeah, I'm goin' insane." Dd finished. "You a lyrical genius fa real." we both laughed.

"Can I come to the stu withcu? I'll invite Ddot too." Dd offered. It would be nice to go outside with people I can trust.

"Sure, I'll call him though." I said, pulling out my phone, facetiming Ddot.

"Hello?" Ddot voice was low and sad.

"Hey...Um--So, I'm finna head to the stu and I wanted to know if you'd come with me. Dd's coming. I just want the first time I go out be with people I cant trust." I muttered.

He gave a weak smile before answering me. "Yeah, my heart. Pick me up?" He asked, his room foggy with weed smoke.

"I gotchu." I smiled, knowing he was only down the hall.

After me and dd both finished getting ready, we headed down the hall and I knocked on the door to see ddot with messy hair tied in a bun and we were all wearing our Notti chains.

We made our way to the studio and I sang my song and I walked out to see Ddot and DD crying.

I just stared as tears streamed down my face.

"He would love it ma heart." Ddot stood, hugging me.

He smelled like Notti. Weed and cologne.

I just cried as dd joined the hug. These were my hearts fa real, I'm glad they're here for me.

(1168 words)

Idk where I'm going w this....Suggestions??