Red in the Blue

Chapter 6

I waited at the hotel bar while airport guy went up to their rooms for Cade. It was a nice hotel. An alpha was bad enough. A wealthy alpha? Unbearable. The bar wasn't too busy yet but with the end of the work day, I worried it would start filling up and we'd have to go somewhere more private to talk werewolf business. I definitely didn't want that.

Cade appeared around the corner alone, his eyes searching for me and half a glorious smile playing at his lips when he saw me sitting at the bar. My wolf lurched for him, yipped and circled at seeing him. I stayed seated.

Did this guy own anything but well-tailored suits? I was glad I looked better than I had the last time—the first time—he'd seen me. At least I had a bra on this time.

"Lenore," he greeted politely, taking the stool next to me but otherwise keeping his distance, leaned back, calm and in control. Yeah. Alpha vibes.

"It's Lore," I corrected, before I could stop myself. "Actually."

One of his eyebrows quirked up. "A little on-the-nose for a werewolf."

"Take it up with my parents," I answered.

He smiled a little, but it was distant and polite. His demeaner today was different. Not nearly as urgent or hopeful as it had been the first time. He was measured.

"Would you like a drink?" He asked.

"I don't drink."

Cade ordered for himself—something I'd never heard of—and put it on his tab. He shifted the glass, the ice twinkling against the side.

"So," he looked up into my eyes conspiratorially. "I hear you're not too happy with me."

"What else do you hear? I hear you've been asking around about me. In addition to having me stalked."

His eyebrows rose at the word.

"You aren't curious about me? I wanted to know everything I could about you. And I understand your objection to my methods of finding you, but...I couldn't just let you go."

"You could've," I snipped, but I was aware it sounded like I was pouting. He took a sip of his drink and nodded without looking at me.

"As I said. It didn't occur to me that you wouldn't be happy to see me. Shocking, I know."

His smile was wry, but I suddenly understood that I had hurt him. Snubbed him. That he was aching for me in the same ways, and I was the reason he couldn't be close to me.

"I'm sorry," I muttered softly, looking down to pick at my cuticles. He didn't respond.

I looked back up at him, into his warm, dark eyes. My stomach lurched. I had to fight to keep my hand from reaching for his.

"I didn't know you were an alpha."

"Would that have changed your answer the other night?" There was an edge to his voice. He was probably used to women reacting to his status a certain way. From his tone, I didn't think he liked it.

"No. I don't really fuck with pack stuff."

He nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you." There was that sarcastic glint in his eyes again.

"It's not you, you're—" I stopped myself before I could say any of the words pressing up against the back of my lips. Stunning. Transcendent. A goddamn revelation.

There was an awkward pause and then I blurted, "how old are you?" At his expression, I added, "you just look young. And for an alpha especially."

"I'm 24," he answered. Oof. Young. But so poised. So self-contained. To be an alpha that young...

"You know I'm 27?"

He nodded.

"How do you know?" I pressed.

"You were hard to pin down, I'll give you that, rogue," he said, but the way he said the last word was like a snarky little pet name. "But my reach is far and impressive." Now he was definitely teasing.

"Clearly, if you could get your man onto a plane about to take off," I rattled back. "How did you manage that anyway?"

"Airlines will do pretty much anything for money."

I scoffed.

"You know your guy sat literally next to me, lurked in my parking lot, and got lunch at the same restaurant? Like was very visible."

He huffed a laugh softly through his nose, taking another drink, looking down into his glass.

"Yeah, well. Lucah's duties don't usually entail trailing anyone. It's not every day I see my mate in an airport."

The way he said mate made my chest ache. After a moment, I said, seriously, looking at him intently, "you must understand how violating this has been for me."

He nodded, stiffly, his jaw tightening. "All that mattered was getting to you. I understand your priorities are different than mine. And I'm sorry for making you feel unsafe."

He seemed genuine, but I could tell it was irking him. My rejection. My stubbornness, maybe. He'd probably assumed I would find it all very romantic. At least he did seem to understand now.

The longest span of silence yet passed between us. I could feel the way my body inclined toward him. His scent was all around me, reassuring, already familiar. It was difficult for me to look at him and hear his voice at the same time. Overwhelming. His knee was almost touching mine the way we sat at the bar. I could feel his eyes on me. He reached one finger out, so hesitantly, and brushed it against the back of my hand. I stiffened, caught my breath, watched his finger stroke gently over my knuckles. He studied the point of contact. My wolf lurched. She simpered. She strained toward him with everything she had. I, finally, slowly, withdrew my hand. Cade stayed exactly as he was, his eyes on the place my hand had been moments before.

"This isn't something I want," I said softly. And even though it was true. Though part of it was true. It killed me to say it. "I don't know you. I don't like this. The way this feels. It's so...intense. Overwhelming."

His eyes drew up to mine.

"You need control," he said. Maybe accused.

I started to correct, to clarify. But he was right.

"I need to have a say in my own life."

He nodded.

"Your say," he said, his volume matching mine, shifting forward, closer to me, so I felt sheltered from the rest of the bar by the curve of his shoulders. "Your say about your life is the only one that matters. Is the only thing I care about. I would choose to get to know you, Lore. If it were up to me. There wouldn't have to be any rush. The nature of our relationship..." he trailed off but his intensity and focus on me didn't falter. "It's not predetermined. That would be up to us. To you. But if—as you've said—this is too much for you. I would never force you."

Everything he said made me want him more, and I fucking hated it. He was perfect. Was he fucking perfect? I looked up at the hard angles of his face, the square jaw under his beard, his straight nose and high cheekbones, the brow jutting over his eyes. His hair fell just right over his forehead. Infuriating. I studied his face, which was set into an unreadable mask. Everything in me roiled.

"This feels awful," I choked out, finally breaking eye contact and shifting on the barstool.

"Yes," he said. "If you ever decide anything other than this. If you ever change your mind—reach out. You know how to contact me. I will want to hear from you. I'll be waiting."

I shook my head. "Please don't," I said. "Please don't wait."

His eyes hooked into mine and his head tilted ever so slightly, a smile tugging the corner of his mouth up just so.

"I'll be waiting, Lore," he repeated firmly.

I groaned and dropped my head down onto the bar. He patted my shoulder, and my body screamed at the contact. When I pulled back up to ask another question, to say something else, he was gone, his glass mostly empty on the bar beside me.