Red in the Blue

Chapter 32

Cade thought it was a coincidence that Eric had been in the neighboring pack, the one he had beef with. He said that "questioning" hadn't revealed that Eric even knew I was in New Haven. He said there was no reason to believe that Eric had been working with the group responsible for my kidnapping. I wasn't sure why he seemed so intent on convincing me of the coincidence of it all. I wasn't sure I believed him. I didn't feel much of anything about it, one way or the other. I listened and nodded and sometimes said something. But mostly I didn't care. I felt like Eric was on another planet. Like it had nothing to do with me. Cade talked about it way longer than I wanted to hear about it. About Eric and the group from Lowell, about what would happen now that they were all in custody, about where things would go from here. I could barely keep my mind on what he was saying. Eventually, he seemed to realize that, and he left me alone.

I insisted on sleeping on the couch. I couldn't be upstairs. So, Cade slept back in his own bed. I wondered who would keep me from shifting in the night but didn't say anything and didn't take the sedatives. It was late now, but when I closed my eyes, my mind whirred alertly in the black behind my lids. I put on an audiobook that was usually dry enough to put me to sleep, but even Sherlock Holmes couldn't save me. As the narrator intoned, my mind wandered back to the woods, to Cade saving me, leaping over me and scattering the wolves at my back.

I thought of the beach, how close he had felt, something about the dark linking us together. Replaying the memory of our swim in my mind, I imagined my abductors suddenly around us on the beach, imagined him pulling me behind him, his arms outstretched to shield me as he prepared to fight them off. I imagined shadowy figures slipping past the enforcers at the front, surrounding me on the couch. How Cade would be at my side without me even calling for him. How they would shred under his claws, evaporate at the snap of his teeth. Elias was there suddenly too, pulling me to him, into his chest, his arm like a shield around me. He held me until Cade had deftly handled the intruders, then he stood watch in the doorway as Cade carried me back to the couch and tucked me in, Elias glancing over his shoulder to keep one eye on me. I thought about flying home with one of them on either side of me, cocooned between their shoulders, heated by their sides, their arms arching across me, their sharp eyes on anyone who walked by. Elias would hold my hand and pull my cheek against his shoulder. Cade would grip my knee. Lean over to kiss my temple.

When I woke up the next day, Cade was pouring coffee into a travel mug over the kitchen sink. He glanced up as I shuffled in, slid the pot to me. We didn't speak to each other before he left. I convinced Dev to jog with me again. Took another swim. Laid out in the sun to read. Followed along with a yoga video. Today, I felt sure and focused. With Eric out of the picture, I was free to take whatever next steps I cared to. And I knew what I wanted to do.

When Cade came home, I was eating at the dining room table. He hesitated as he passed through the living room and clocked my packed bag on one of the couches.

"Going somewhere?" he asked, walking into the kitchen to fix his own dinner.

"Home," I called back, and took another bite. For a moment, I only heard the crinkling of packages from the fridge as he pulled ingredients out.

"Oh really," he answered.

"Eric is in custody. Sucky Lowell guys are in custody. There's no reason I should have to keep crashing on your couch, right?"

I listened hard to the sounds in the kitchen, trying to ascertain anything without being able to see him.

"That's true. You can go if you feel comfortable."

"I'm going tomorrow. James is going to take me."

He appeared around the corner and leaned against the edge of the wall that separated the dining room from the kitchen.