New Girl

Misguided Ghosts

Clara: To you I haven't been born yet. And to you I've been dead a hundred billion years. Is my body out there somewhere? In the ground?
The Doctor: Yes, I suppose it is.
Clara: But here we are talking. So I am a ghost. To you, I'm a ghost. We're all ghosts to you. We must be nothing.
The Doctor: No. No. You're not that.
Clara: Then what are we? What can we possibly be?

- Doctor Who, Hide

When in doubt, fib your way out of anything. That was a lesson Jessica had learned growing up. And it didn't always work but she was sure going to try anyway. Because what other choice did she have?

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Jessica sputtered. "Vampires? How? Why? What makes you think those are even real?"

Lauren did not look convinced at all. "Let's see? The freakishly pale skin, those weird yellow eyes, and let's not forget avoiding the sun at all costs. What do all those things amount to?"

"People from Seattle?" Jessica quipped, knowing full-well that Lauren was originally from Seattle.

"I resent that," the blonde replied. "And no. Vampires is the right answer."

"Come on, Laur. Do you hear yourself?"

"Do you hear yourself, Stanley? Half a second ago, you were on my ass about werewolves. And now you're trying to deny that vampires exist?"

Jessica grimaced, wishing she had carpooled with Tyler that morning instead. "I can't tell you anything."

"Why not? Are you under some Alpha command preventing you from talking?"

"What?"

Lauren waved her hand flippantly. "It's a werewolf thing. Why can't you talk about vampires?"

Jessica covered her face in her hands, wanting to scream and also feeling oddly relieved to have someone else know about the vampire secret she had been forced to keep for weeks.

"It's hard to explain but if I tell anyone about this, the world's going to end," she explained. "Like world on fire and we're-all-going-to-die kind of ending. It's terrifying. I saw it."

"How do you know that's going to happen?"

"Vampire magic? Evolutionary trait? I don't know. All of this is really weird, Lauren," she confessed. "I wish I didn't know about this but my future stepsister really wants to become a vampire and I got sucked into the mess of it all."

Lauren tsked. "That sucks, buddy."

Jessica snorted, finding the bleak humor in the oddity of her situation. The secret was out to at least one person. The world was probably going to end now but at least the crushing weight of the secret was off her chest. She wanted to cry and laugh at the same time.

"Technically, you didn't tell me," Lauren pointed out. "You just confirmed what I already knew."

"Which means the world's not going to end because of me!"

Jessica was so relieved she pulled Lauren into a hug. Allergic to affection, the blonde hissed and pushed Jessica away like an angry cat.

"No need for that, Stanley," Lauren said, starting the car again. "And you didn't explain how you saw the world ending."

"Alice Cullen can see the future," Jessica replied. "And apparently she wants me to become my sister-in-law."

"Why? And marry who?"

"Edward."

Lauren made a disgusted face. "Oh my God, no. Even without being a vampire, he's so...so..."