In the mood for sadness (oneshots)

Im sorry about being me.

Xiao Zhan was one of the best artist in town, He has achieved allot. Everytime he smiled everybody looked at him in awe. He was favored by all. But one day he took his own life. Nobody knew why. Xiao Zhan always had a smile on his face. He always seemed happy. What happened?

The past before the passing:

3rd persons pov:

Music was blaring from the speaker. The music slowly died down as the host started to speak. "Welcome to the school's awarding ceremony. To congratulate our hardworking students that has been studying here and achieving their dreams. The school is greatful and honored to have these students. Lets start off with Most paintings award.

*time skip*

Xiao Zhan watched as people come up to the stage to get their rewards. He watched every one of them. The host started speaking again. So this award is to be given to one of our most valued member of the school, for keeping a smile on our face everyday and see his great efforts everyday that never disappoints. Give a warm of aplause to Xiao Sean Zhan!

Xiao Zhan had a shocked faced while standing up. He bowed and started walking to the stage to claim his reward. He smiled warmly causing the crowd to cheer louder and congratulate him. The host speaked. What do you have to say about this achievement Sir Xiao?"

He spoked warmly and said. Thank you for giving me this reward. I am very honored to earn this. Thank you for the school's club for recognizing my works! Thank you! He smiled and walked down the stage. With his friends approaching him and hugging him.

*time skip*

Zhan bid his goodbyes and catched the bus home.

*Home*

Zhan opened the door with his extra keys slowly. So he could not wake up his father. He unlocked the door and quietly walked to the kitchen.

Being greeted by his father holding a can of beer looking at him with dark orbs. The elderly asked him angrily. Did you go to those useless events again? Didnt I tell you to quit being in this little artist dream! Im paying for you to study! Im paying for a future doctor! not a lousy artist! Zhan's dad suddenly threw the can at Zhan's face. Causing a scratch on Zhan's face.

Xiao Zhan's eyes watered as he screamed back "Why wont you let me follow my dreams father? I ACHIEVED ALLOT. PLEASE LET ME CHOOSE MY DREAMS"

Xiao Zhan's father looked more angry and walk to Xiao Zhan, He suddenly choked Zhan and said. Im the one paying for your studies! This artist dream isnt going to get you anywhere! What does those awards benefit you? Does it give you money? Now shut up! Im your father. I know whats best for you! he said while letting go of Xiao Zhans neck.

Xiao Zhan fell down to his knees gasping for air while trembling with tears. Xiao Zhan forced his self to stand with all of the strength he had left and went back to his room and sobbed continuously.

This went on for days, weeks, months.

Until Xiao Zhan had enough.

Xiao Zhan and His father just came from a heated argument. Leaving Xiao Zhan in his room. Crying bitterly while writing a su1cid3 note. Xiao Zhan dedicated this to all of the people he once felt being loved with.

Dear, My love ones

You reading this probably ment Im already in the place where could make me happier than ever. A place called heaven what they call. A place thats paradise and takes all your pain away. Please dont cry reading this letter. Im happy now. Im sincerely happy. I dont have to put on a bitter smile everyday. And think everythings going to change but it never did. I love you all. Im sorry for being a failure. Im sorry for not achieving anything good in life. Im sorry for lying I was ok but I never was. Im sorry for being me. I hope to meet you all someday. I promise to put on the brightest smile. Its sincere this time!

Xiao Zhan wrote the last words. Chuckling to his self. Thinking. Why would the Lord make him suffer this much? Is he really that hated? Am I really a failure that nobody actually cares about? Those words circled in his mind while tying a rope around his neck. Standing on a chair. Bitterly crying as he stepped down the chair. The rope hugging his neck tighter. Saying his last words "im sorry for being me"

Those were the last words of Xiao Sean Zhan.