Love in Bali

1-Broken heart.

Bright

Lets break up win suddenly said. I who are playing with ame look at him. I am confused. Why so sudden.  Why i ask him slowly. This is never success relation win said calmly. Its been three years,what i do wrong, i ask win try to understand his request while walking to him. What the matter win, did i hurt you, i ask him again. No, you will never hurt me, he said slowly. Then why, i ask him again. I am sorry, but i cant continue this anymore , win said firmly. This, i ask him. Yes , this unfortunate relation, he reply and look at me sadly. I am sorry, i cant pretend and wait for you anymore , win said. I really confuse and look at him deeply, waiting for his explaination. I know you dont love me, i am working hard in this relation alone, he said clearly this time. I love you , i quickly interupt win.  I really love him. We are together since my career start to bloom. We have been doing this together. I dont know how to live without him. Yes, your love me but you love me as brother, as a coworker as a family but never as a lover he said sadly. Win, i call him i try to comfort him. I cant do this anymore. I am hurt win said with a sad smile. Please, i cant lie to you and myself anymore , win said. I am seeing luke now, he said. He is sweet guy who appreciate me, I am sorry for being disloyal to you. But i cant wait for you anymore win said firm. Luke, i ask him. Yes, luke someone who will hold my hand and hug me when i am sad. Someone who will kiss me when i am happy, he reply calmly.
The world look at us as an ideal couple, we both know the truth. we are not he said firmly again. What is in win mind. I truly love him. I thought we are the ideal couple. Am I dreaming.
I am sorry i said slowly. I really speechless. I dont need your sorry, i need your love, your heart and touch ,he said loud. I am the bad character here, i am the one who suppose to ask for forgiveness, he said crying. I am really confuse right now. I cant feel it, i felt alone in this relation , he said again. I feel that you are force to be in this relation. I am sorry for starting all this, you should reject me at the first place he add. Win, i never look at anyone else, i always with you and i really love you, i said slowly. I know win said. I wish you look at everyone so you know how to love. I am bored with all this bro thing. Lets end this he said firmly again. I can feel that he wont change his decision anymore.  I caress his face softly. I am sorry ,i failed to make you feel love, i said slowly. But i do, i really love you ,i said try to convince win. Kiss me phi, win ask me boldly. I look at him with wide eyes. Kiss me for real ,he said again. Do you know phi,  you never kiss me like a real lover. Its been three years,but we are like school kids puppy love, he said calmly now. I know you always protect me, but i need a lover not protector. Both of us can protect ourself he said. I look at him with guilty. You make me felt useless. I cant attract you like our series. I try but i cant do this anymore. I will use all my energy and effort to love luke, he said softly. I am sorry but lets break up. I believe we will still love each other even after breakup because what you have for me is not love between a couple but love between brother and coworker he add. I am sorry i said again and hug him tight. I am scare of losing him. What should i do i ask win but more to myself. He also hug me tight and cry. Lets end this phi, i am sorry too he said and cry.

I look at my phone notification which disturb my long flash back.

"Where are you phi, this is not the solution. We might be not a lover anymore but we are always good partner. Call me" win message.

Its so easy, just like his favorite song. Everything are easy for him. But deep in my heart i cant blame him. I know everything he said is true. I just hope he give a time for me. I am new to this kind of relation. I even confuse what my role is. Win is manly man but i am his alpha the world asume. Am i the alpha, i really dont know. I also think that win  confuse with our roles. I dont know why i am not ready to declare to the world about our relation. Only my close circle know about our relation including luke. How could he do this to me. But i know win will be happy with luke more. He is more masculine and handsome man. Maybe that the love that win want, not my soft love. I dont know why i cant have an intimate relation with him. I really dont know what stopping me to kiss and hug him like other lover even i try. Maybe i am not gay, i really confuse. Beside skinship i am trying my best to be good lover. He is my top priority even i have a hell schedule. I try my best to provide and take care of me but i guest its not enough. I am sad because i felt betrayed but till now i cant blame or angry toward him.

I slowly walk along the beach. Its been 3 days now. I just follow my instinct and now i am here at a very beautiful beach in bali. I try to hide myself. I really need my privacy. I want to be alone. After making myself tired, i walk back to my private villa. I smile to the villa staff who prepare my dinner. Again i skip my dinner. I dont have appetite to eat.
Its already late when i go for drinks. 8 decide to find local store which sell alcohol. I really need something to reduce my pain. When i slowly walk back to my villa, a group of local man block my walk. I politely nod and ask them to leave me alone. I cant understand them, maybe they are aimed for my money. When i try to go through one of them hold my hand roughly. Leave me alone, i yell at him. I am being scare and angry right now. Please god, i pray in my heart. Even i do boxing i dont think i can handle all of this people. Release him, suddenly a very cold voice appeared. I turn my head and really suprise. The owner of the voice also shock. Bright, he ask. Maybe he also did not expect to see me here. You will bring national issue between thailand and indonesia, he said to the local coldly. I advise all of you to leave him, he said again.. He is not someone you can touch, he add coldly. Since his aura is intimidating, all if the boys run and release my hand. Thank you phi , i said slowly and grateful.