Atelophobia

My Best Friends Mom

She was the first person I told.
While we obsessed over boys.
My body was slowly shutting down.
I felt my body melting away.
Tears filled my tired eyes.
Blurred vision forms.
All I could think about was him.
His short black hair.
His dark brown eyes.
The comfort of his touch.
I was scared.
I finally realized I was dying.
I couldn't breathe.
"Can I atleast tell my mom?"
"Yeah"
The next few minutes are traumatic.
Dad screaming, "Make her fucking puke!"
Fingers, my own shoved down my throat.
My dinner spilling out.
The sobbing and screaming and arguing for an hour and fifteen minutes.
Him calling me a burden.
Saying that I don't love my family.
Putting blame on me.
"And you try to harm yourself again really?! I thought you stopped your cutting shit?!"
"I STILL CUT! I HAVE FOR MONTHS! AND YOU NEVER SAW THE SIGNS! HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE YOUR LITTLE GIRL ISOLATING HERSELF, AND NEVER EVER NOTICED THE SIGNS I GAVE. THE HELP ON YOUR DOOR. THE ONLY TALKING ABOUT FRIENDS. THE WIPING FACE BEFORE COMING INTO THE LIVNG ROOM. REALLY?!"
The E.R comes into sight.
Tear stains on my face.
We walk to a room.
I'm wearing hospital clothes.
I swallow the liquid charcoal.
Urine sample turns into throwing up.
I look high as fuck.
Everyone recommended the mental hospital.
I sob harder and harder each time.
Have a lady come in every ten minutes taking blood and my heart rate.
And I'm still living thanks to the most amazing girl I've ever met.
Her name,Giuliana.