he didnt kiss me. his role kissed my role. it means nothing, right?!
___________
"why are you avoiding me now?!"
he titls his head.
"i am not!"
"was it because i kissed you..."
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i am sitting in the auditorium all alone, waiting for everyone else to arrive.
i used that time to actually consider my own feelings. why do i suddenly feel so strange?
i should be head over hills for what happened today with chan but actually i dont feel a thing about it?
was i just too pressured about it?
what happened?!
am i just easily affected by seungkwan's careless kind gestures that i am confused? yeah, thats probably it!
seungkwan tends to confuse people just because he is overly hyped and easy going. but even if thats it why does that effect my relationship with chan.
seriously i have no idea whats going on.
lets place everything in a line. i wont let kwan's careless actions distract me from my main goal.
that goal is, getting lee chan! thats why i started talking to a loser like him in the first place. lee chan is the goal! boo seungkwan is the way to achieve the goal.
never forget that chwe sarang!
i then find myself again after clarifying everything and organizing all these thoughts in my head.
i almost lost track but thank god i realized it soon and put everything on its ordinary place.
i actually feel relieved now that i probably know whats gotten into me. even if i am not usually smiling, right now i found a smile to wear - i just dont know if it was a real one.
thats when i hear the door falling open and the exact same boy i was thinking about appearing.
kwan was walking down the aisle with his bag on his shoulder.
"hey!" he walks towards me.
"hi..." i pretend to be busy, reading a script, i just found on top of the table. kwan places his things right next to mine.
"are you okay? you... seemed a bit strange previously?!" he smiles. what is that now? again, acting all nice to me.
"i... i am good... just a head ache..." i sharply let him know until i remember and lock eyes with him once again. "what about you and mina? how did it go?!" i ask.
"good? i guess..." he sits right next to me.
"did you ask her out?!"
"not yet..." he looks down. i narrow my eyebrows. whats the problem? i thought he wanted this.
"why not?!" i ask, laying back on the seat quite confused. "i dont know!" he then turns to look at me and our eyes lock.
oh no, when he does that i can no longer think of someone else.
