Two Can Keep a Secret

1.

Buck

"And that's the game. Pay up," I gloat to the rest of the 118. Howard "Chimney" Han, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Captain Bobby Nash, and Ravi Panikkar all groaned in response, each of them handing over $20 bills. We had just finished playing a game of darts in our favorite dive bar after our shift. It was one of those shifts that seemed never ending, one ridiculous call after another. After shifts like that, we all liked to let loose and drink the stresses of the day away, while playing a little pool and/or darts. Most of the time, we played friendly games, but tonight, everyone was feeling adventurous, betting $20 a game. We just finished game number five. I take everyone's cash with a smug grin on my face, but truthfully, I would have much rather been at my best friend, Edmundo "Eddie" Diaz's house, sitting on the couch, drinking an ice cold beer, instead of being surrounded by pulsating lights and music from the loud speakers. Or maybe nothing was pulsating at all, and I had just reached the point of being drunk. Liquid courage, they called it. This was my fourth beer of the evening, but I wasn't getting any braver.

Tonight was the night. The night that I was going to confess my feelings to Eddie. Tell him that I don't want to just be his friend anymore. That I want more. That I've wanted more since the day I walked into the firehouse and saw him changing into his uniform for the first time, everyone, including me, gawking at his hard, chiseled body. I know I'd never be able to say all of that alone, hence the excessive beer drinking. "I told you guys not to play him. You'd only regret it later," Eddie interrupts my thoughts, still laughing at the disgruntled faces and groans of the team.

"Yeah well who knew 'later' would come so soon?" Ravi mutters, rolling his eyes as he slaps the twenty into my hand.

Eddie starts laughing harder and I laugh with him. His laughter is infectious, especially when his eyes–

No Buck, don't even think it! I scolded myself. "Anybody else wanna try their luck at the pool table? I'll even let someone else break for a change." I'm stalling now, trying to buy myself as much time as possible.

"As generous as that offer sounds, I'm gonna have to pass," Bobby says, grabbing his jacket and wallet from our nearby table. "Gotta get home before Athena sends out a search party. I'll see you guys tomorrow, bright and early."

"Wait up, Cap! I'm gonna call it a night too," Ravi follows behind him.

"I think I'm gonna head out too before I end up going bankrupt." Chimney grabs his things before following the two out the door. I watch as they head towards the exit, Hen close behind them.

"You too, Hen?" I ask in mock offense.

"Sorry, Chim and I carpooled today," she shrugs. We said our final goodbyes as they departed the bar, my courage disappearing along with them.

"Well Buckley, I guess it's just you and me," Eddie says lightheartedly.

"I guess so," I try to sound confident, but I can feel my voice shaking. I clear my throat hoping he won't notice. He raises an eyebrow at me, but all I can do is chug the rest of my beer in response. I watch as Eddie sets up the pool table. I see him looking at me out of the corner of his eye, smirking.

"Like what you see?"

"Wh-what?" I gulp, jerking my gaze away.

"I said, are you ready to play?" I shake my head furiously, trying to clear it. I swear there's a faint humor in his eyes.

"Uh yeah. Yeah sorry." What the fuck? He takes the first shot, sinking a ball in the corner pocket. He walks towards me as the balls continue to scatter. I stare at his lips as he walks closer and closer. I could have sworn he was looking at mine too. I felt his eyes roaming my body. He was inches away now, our bodies nearly pressed together. This was a problem. Why you may ask? Because I was Hard. As. Fuck. He moves against me a little, our fronts rubbing together. I close my eyes, relishing in the moment...a moment that was gone all too soon...as if I had imagined the whole thing.

"Buck? Buck?" My eyes snap open. I look up and Eddie is standing on the other side of the pool table staring at me in confusion. "It's your turn."

"Oh," I squeak. I clear my throat in an effort to sound normal again, or at least a little less flustered. "Right. My turn." I grab my pool cue and walk over to where Eddie is standing, still thinking of what just happened. Or rather what didn't happen? I wasn't sure of anything anymore. Apparently, I'm more hammered than I thought. I position the cue, my hands shaking as I try to line up the cue and the ball.

"You're too tense," Eddie interrupts. "You need to loosen up your shoulders, relax your stance." I try to do as he says, but I'm frozen. He chuckles and walks up behind me. "Here let me help you." He wraps his arms around me, grabbing my hands to help me hold the cue properly. "Like this," his minty breath blows against my face and it's absolutely intoxicating.

I try to speak but my throat is dry. Like, Sahara Desert dry. I try to swallow my saliva and clear my throat, unsuccessfully. "Uh thanks. I think I got it now." Eddie takes a step back and watches as I attempt to make a shot. I manage to get one ball in. I stand up and turn to look at Eddie, who's smiling at my small victory.

"Maybe I should have kept my tips and tricks to myself, so I can win for once," he chuckles. I don't laugh with him. All I can think about is how good it felt to have him pressed up against me, his breath on my face, his lips inches away. I don't know how long I'm staring at him. Seconds? Minutes? Long enough for Eddie to be concerned? "Buck? You okay?"

I open my mouth to answer. To lie and say that I'm fine, never better. But instead what comes out is, "Fuck it." I throw the pool cue to the ground and march over to him, grabbing his face in my hands, kissing him. Hard. He doesn't hesitate to kiss me back. He grabs me by the waist and pulls me closer. I bite his bottom lip, and he moans. I take that as my opportunity to slip my tongue into his mouth. Our heads turn this way and that, our tongues fighting to be the dominant one. I don't know how long we're like this. It may have been minutes but it felt like only seconds, but all too soon, Eddie pulls away. I look at his face, searching for a reaction. I can't find one. I start to panic. I just kissed him without his consent, he's probably livid. But the fact that he kissed me back has to count for something, right? Unless he just did it to be polite? Maybe he doesn't want to hurt my feelings in a bar full of people. I can always blame it on the alcohol. One too many beers and there's bound to be a lapse in judgment, right? "Eddie I'm s–"

He interrupts me by kissing me again. A soft, delicate kiss this time. He pulls away and smiles at me. "Finally." I smile back at him, and all of the nerves, fear and uncertainty disappear just as quickly as they came.