Pooks

Chapter 4

It takes you a second to remember where you are. The smell of summer air fills John B's living room. You sit up and stretch your arms, the other couch where JJ fell asleep is now empty.
John B's place is messy, there's stuff everywhere. Clothes, empty cereal boxes, beer cans both empty and unopened, books on the floor, random pieces of paper, there's something hanging from every corner. Either a tshirt or a random bag. Nothing is put away but it still looks more like a home than your place. There's lots of love here, you can feel it. It may be messy but it's happy. You come here and you're happy, you're safe, surrounded by people that would fight kooks for you.
There's photos on the walls of people you don't recognise, John B isn't in all of them. You walk over to one wall that has a photo of John B and a man, must be his dad. They have the same chocolate brown hair and kind eyes. John B is laughing in the photo and his dad has his arm around his shoulder, the photo makes you smile.
"Morning Tiv" John B walks out of his room exactly how he did the other day when you came here after ditching school. His hair is messy and tall on his head and he can't open his eyes properly again.
"Hey" he sits down where JJ fell asleep
"You sleep okay?" He yawns
"Yeah actually, thanks"
"Anytime" he says. You can tell he means it. It's one thing to have friends and a place to stay but it's another thing to have someone two seconds away from where you and Barry- BARRY!
"Shit I got to go" you grab your shoes and put them on, you felt JJ take them off your feet last night right before you passed out. You pull the laces, no time to do them up properly.
"Hey wait!" John B calls but you're already running out the door.
"Where's she going?" You hear JJ call but you don't see him and you don't stop to look back.
"I'll see you guys later" you shout but you don't think they heard you.
In all honestly you have no idea how Barry's going to react. He didn't tell me I need to be home at a certain time but you didn't tell him you were going out either. Plus he was working, will he even be back yet? It's early the sun is still low in the sky, it can't be later than 9 o'clock, which means you're running off about 4 hours sleep.
You run into your front yard and stop to catch your breath. Okay, be cool. You walk up to the house, Barry is smoking on the porch. He watches you walk over to him, he doesn't say anything just takes long, slow drag of his cigarette before flicking it on the floor. "Hey" you say without looking at him. You walk up the steps and sit down on them, like you did at John B's last night.
"What have you been up to, kid?" Barry doesn't ask like he's concerned, just curious.
"Uh with friends, I went to the party on the beach and crashed at theirs" Barry nods.
"Kook friends?" He asks, the curiosity turns cold.
"Uh no, I made some friends at school" Barry nods again.
"So pogue friends?" You look up at him and he looks like he's trying not to smile
"What?" Your question breaks Barry's smirk into a full on grin
"Those pogues you been hanging round with ain't worth it"
"How would you even know?"
"The video" he smiles and everything that happened last night comes rushing back to you. "There's a video of Routledge knocking some kook clean out, you're in the background being pulled out of the crowd"
You sink into the steps, oh god. "What were you doing there anyway?" He asks you. You close your eyes and lean your head back that has suddenly started pounding.
"Me and that kook don't have the best track record. He pushed me, my 'pogue' friends saw to it" you open your eyes and look at Barry. His face stone cold now, the smirk no where to be seen.
"He pushed you?"
"Yeah, but it's fine I was just drunk" Barry gets up before you barely finish what you were saying.
"I'll deal with it" Barry goes inside. You run after him
"No!" You grab Barry's arm to stop him walking into his room. "Barry it's fine! I'm fine! Please just leave it I can't blow it with these guys! I need to make friends here and I want to keep my old ones." He looks down at his arm that you're still holding then back at you. "I'm literally fine Barry, please" you stare at him.
"Fine" you let go of his arm. "You call me next time okay?" You nod even though there's no way you'd call him if you're in the same situation. Barry's like Rafe in that department, it's almost not worth it. They bring the wrath of god with them, you only call them in emergencies because once you do there's no turning back. "You need a ride anywhere? I'm going out"
"No thanks, I'm good" You go into your room and put your phone on charge. It lights up and almost instantly messages come pouring through. "What the fuck" you whisper as you grab your phone.
It's Rafe. He saw the video. Shit.
There's too many messages to read so you ring him. He answers after two rings.
"Yn?"
"Hey sorry! My phone died I-"
"You're on the cut for two days and you're already getting into fights?!" He's almost shouting down the phone.
"Rafe I'm fine!"
"What happened?" But he speaks again before you can answer him. "Who was it? Give me names"
"Rafe! I'm fine it was nothing!" He goes quiet but you can hear his mind racing through the phone. Your heart sinks, you know it's just because he cares. Rafe practically raised you, he didn't cook you dinners or read you bedtime stories but he has been there without fail whenever you've needed him since I you were 5 years old. This is hard on him too. "What are you doing today? Can I come over?" He sighs like he's trying to calm himself down, you realise he's probably been in this state all night since seeing the video.
"Yeah I'll come get you"
"No!" You shout a bit too loudly. "Uhhh, it's fine I have a lift, I'll be there soon"
You hang up and quickly change. You put your favourite pair of denim shorts on that come down to your thighs and grab a random t-shirt. You catch your reflection in the window, the t-shirt is baggy on you and it's light blue with a Ripcurl logo on the front. No idea where I got this. No time, you grab your phone that's on 7% and shove it into your back pocket. You put your converse back on and run out to Barry who's getting on his bike. "That lift still going?" He revs the bike engine so loud you have to cover your ears. He takes his helmet off and hands it to you, you can see he's laughing. "It's okay, you can-"
"No helmet, no lift" he says. You take the helmet and do it up under your chin, at least if anyone does see you no one will know it's you. You hop on the back of his bike and put your arms around his waist. You ride on the back of Rafes bike all the time so you know the drill.
Barry revs his engine again and drops you at the shake shack. What did I tell you, middle ground. You get off the bike and hand Barry back his helmet. "Thanks" Barry puts the helmet on and nods before he drives off. You look around, people are staring at you. Mostly kooks, you look away and start walking to Rafes. It's not far from the shack, 5 minute walk which you're thankful for because it's even hotter than yesterday. You crawl up the hill that leads into Rafes front garden and see him. He's throwing a ball against the wall, letting it hit the floor before catching it and throwing it again. This is Rafe's equivalent of pacing, he's stressed.
He hasn't seen you yet. You duck down and pick up your speed and as you get closer you pounce. "AHHH" you yell before jumping on his back. Rafe stands up like you weigh nothing and moves you up to his shoulders so he's carrying you like a towel around his neck, legs over one shoulder head over the other.
"That's it, you're stuck there now all day" he says before he starts swinging and swaying. You kick your feet and scream some more before he bends down and guides your legs back to the floor.
"Aww I was enjoying being up there with the giants" Rafe smiles down at you, he's looking for words to say. You can see he's worried and angry he looks like he hasn't slept all night. He doesn't want to say something that'll piss you off or cause you two to argue. You can read this boy like a book, that's what 11 years of friendship does I guess.
"Rafe Cameron" you put your arms on his shoulders like you did to JJ "I'm fine" you stare at him and he stares back. His eyes are bluer than JJ's, they're blue like the ocean. Deep and full of secrets, too easy to get lost in them and if you're not careful you'll drown. JJ's are blue like the sky, light and full of possibilities.
Rafe grabs both your wrists and moves your hands off his shoulders but doesn't let go. "What happened?" His face is serious so you frown at him trying not to smile.
"Always so serious Mr Cameron" but he barely smiles back. You drop the act and roll your eyes. You can't tell him it was Topper, trust me when I say it's not worth it. "It was nothing Rafe, I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't even know what happened really" you move your hands from his grip and turn your back to him.
"Why didn't you tell me you were going to that party?" You turn back to face him and shrug your shoulders.
"I didn't really know I was going. I was invited then I fell asleep next thing I knew Sarah was ringing me-" you stop mid sentence and Rafes eyes dart to yours. Shit.
"Of course" Rafe says. "Of course it was Sarah" he throws his hands up in the air like the answer was under his nose all along. You scrunch up your nose, you know you messed up. Sarah is always getting us invited to parties and when something bad happens at them (which is nine times out of ten) Rafe blames Sarah because she's the reason we went in the first place.
"Rafe-" you run back over to him and grab the sides of his arms so he looks at you. "Please drop it. I'm fine, everything's fine. I haven't seen Sarah since I've moved I don't want the next time I see her to be an argument!" Rafe's looking up at the sky and huffing like I'm asking him to do something that goes against everything he believes in. Always so serious. "Please Rafe" your voice is soft which makes him look down at you, as he does he rolls his eyes.
"Whatever" he makes you smile. "Just... call me next time okay? I told you I can be there in five minutes" you nod your head as you make the same empty promise to him as you did to Barry. "Okay" he says. He puts both hands on your ears and pulls your head to his lips and kisses your forehead. "I'm glad you're okay. Plus it's hard to stay mad at you when you're wearing my clothes" he pulls away and you look back up at him. Oh that's where I got this t-shirt. Makes sense, you're always stealing his hoodies and hats - and t-shirts it seems. "Looks better on you anyway" he says gently. You're still looking at him, trying to figure out the secrets his deep ocean eyes hold. You miss him.
It's only been a few days but you miss him. You miss the early morning talks before school and the late night ones after school. You miss knowing he's right next door. "Hey, where'd you go?" He's still holding your head in his hands.
"I just miss you" you hear yourself say. He smiles down at you as his hands drop back to his side
"I'm not going anywhere." You smile. "You're stuck with me"
The move hasn't been that bad. Barry's been nicer than you expected and you've even made some friends. But being back with Rafe makes you feel at home. It also reminds you that you feel that less and less now more so than ever with him not being just next door anymore.
You throw your arms around his shoulders "hey what's wrong?" He sounds surprised. You don't know what to say so you don't say anything. Rafe just lets you hug him for a second before wrapping his arms around you, lifting you off your toes a little like he always does. He can read you like a book too. "I got you" he says into your shoulder, you pull away and nod.
"I know"
"YN!!!" You turn around and see Sarah running at you full speed. You have less than a few seconds before she runs into you almost knocking you over. She throws her arms around you like you did to Rafe but she squeezes you so tight you can't breathe for a split second. "I missed you!" She's loud in your ear unlike her brother.
You laugh "I missed you too" you hug her back and you're still hugging a minute later. "Okay okay" you have to push her off you.
"I saw that video of you last night what the fuck were you thinking?"
"She wasn't" Rafe buts in you glare at him but it just makes you smile. Trying to be mad at Rafe is useless, it never lasts.
"Look I'm about to head out with Topper" you instantly feel sick, your head starts hurting again. "But I want to have a proper catch up, I'll text you" she hugs you again then runs back up to the house. Seconds later Topper is driving them both down the driveway and past where you and Rafe are standing. You lock eyes with him from the divers seat. As the car approaches you and Rafe it slows and the window rolls down. Topper sticks his head out "I'll catch you later Rafe?" Topper isn't looking at you. His jaw is yellowish, it'll be black by the end of the day. JJ was right John B knows how to throw a punch.
Rafe leans his arm against the car window "what happened to you?" Toppers full-of-himself-smile fades and he looks at you as he answers Rafe.
"Frickin pogues man, got to watch them" his voice is up beat like he's trying to play it down but you can tell he's faking it. He's embarrassed, I mean he did get knocked out cold.
You think for a second what would be happening right now if you told Rafe the truth. Topper would have more than a bruised jaw to worry about if you told Rafe he pushed you last night. But as you know, absolutely not worth it.
Rafe and Topper exchange a few more 'yeah man's' then he drives away with Sarah.
"What's wrong with you?" Rafe asks. "You got a face like a slapped ass" You don't smile. You stare at Toppers car as it drives away. You're angry, Topper is a dick. Why do Rafe and Sarah even like him?! He pushed me and got into a fight with two of my friends, not to mention the sly comments I get every time we have an interaction alone with him-
"Earth to Yn?" You blink and realise you just spaced out. You look at Rafe who's still waiting for a response. He knows you don't like Topper, he just thinks it's because you're protective of Sarah. The best friend who thinks 'no man is good enough for my girl' he's not wrong, but that doesn't begin scratch the surface.
"How did Topper say he got that bruise again?" Rafe puts his hand behind his head and walks in a small circle
"He didn't. Got into a fight with some pogues, not sure. Why?" You shrug and shake it off. Topper's gone and you're with Rafe, at least he can't touch you right now - no one can.
With an absent dad and a shitty mom Rafe is the only person who has ever made you feel grounded. With all the chaos that is your life when you're with Rafe it kind of just melts away. The only other time you've ever felt that is when you surf.
"There's a movie screening on in a bit do you want to go? Drive in, could be fun?" You look at Rafe, you used to go to drive ins all the time.
"Yeah, sounds good" you both get in his car. You've got some time to kill so you drive around for a bit, you're just enjoying being reunited with air con. Air con is about as common as kooks on the cut, I miss it as much as I miss Rafe.
Kidding.
When you're in 40 degree heat with no air con then you can judge me.
When it's time Rafe drives you both to the drive in. It's packed, oh god. You both get out the car and Rafe hands you his phone. "Go get some drinks, I'll meet you back here in 5?" You still have that $50 form Barry in the back of your phone case
"It's okay, I got it" Rafe rolls his eyes and puts his phone in your hands and leaves. You watch him walk over to a group of boys and do that guy hand shake slap on the back thing.
Rafe never lets you pay for anything, even when you had money. You know his password, it's your birthday. You changed it as a prank years ago and he never changed it back. 0207.
You head over to the drinks van and get in line. An ice cold Pepsi sounds so good right about now. "Well well well look who we've got here" you turn and are met with blue eyes, not your ocean ones. Sky blue.
"Hey JJ!" JJ smiles and Pope and John B emerge from behind him. "Hey guys" they all smile at you.
"Where did you run off to this morning?" John B asks, all three boys looking at you.
"Oh I had to get home sorry about that" John B smiles like you have nothing to apologise for.
"Two phones?" Pope points at your hands where you are in fact holding two phones.
"Oh yeah I'm here with- uh with my friend" Pope just smiles and loses interest, he starts looking at the line judging how long it'll be before you're served.
"Oh, do you guys want to come sit with us? Kie is holding our seats" John B points over to the middle of the field. You spot Kie sat on a blanket, she's on her phone she's not looking over here.
"Who did you say you were with?" JJ asks.
"Just my friend" you smile and pretend to be interested in the line like Pope praying they don't ask for your friends name.
"The surfboard friend?" JJ asks. You remember everything you and JJ spoke about last night. You smile and nod at him
"Yeah, that's the one" you start to feel sick. It's only a matter of time before Rafe comes looking for me, if Rafe Cameron comes over here while I'm talking to these guys I'll never see them again. While you're deciding on wether you run now or once you've got your Pepsi, suddenly you're next in line. Pope lets you go first. You order two Pepsis "You guys want anything?" You ask but they all shake their heads. You wait for them to order their drinks and follow them over to Kie. You spot Rafe on your way over, he's still talking to that group of boys. I'd say you have about 5 more minutes before he comes looking for you.
"Hey Yn!" Kie sounds excited when you walk over.
"Hey" you smile and sit down next to her.
"I didn't see much of you at the party, we should do something" Kie smiles at you.
"Yeah, that sounds nice" you say. Kie has the same warmth to her the other pogues have, like you've been friends forever.
"Ow!" Kie says, someone stood on her hand. You both look up to see a kook boy staring down at you both.
"Watch where you're sitting pogue" he says to Kie who's holding her hand under her arm in pain. You stand up and pull the lid off your Pepsi
"Hey asshole" the boy turns around to look at you and before you can change your mind you throw your whole cup of Pepsi in his face. "Oh shit!" Pope whispers and JJ and Jb break out into hysterical laughter. Kie stands up with the widest smile you've ever seen.
"That was awesome!" She's shouting which makes you laugh. She throws her arms around you and the boy runs off. His sweater that you just ruined was probably worth more than everything you own.
"Yeah it was" JJ shouts from the floor. Him and John B are still laughing.
"Yeah she's definitely one of us now" John B says. You get the vibe John B is kind of the leader, everyone chills at his house, rides in his car type of thing so him saying that makes you smile. JJ and Kie are still smiling, Pope just looks shocked.
"I can't believe you did that" Kie says, you look at her she's still beaming, smiling ear to ear.
"Here" you hand her your remaining Pepsi. "It's cold, it'll help your hand" she takes it and sits back down. "I've got to go find my friend, I'll catch you guys in a bit?"
"Hey Yn" JJ calls as you turn to leave. You look back at the four of them who are all smiling up at you. "Come back around some time I've got a surprise for you" JJ and John B look at each other as he says that like they have something planned.
"Okay weirdos, I'll catch you soon" you say and run back over to Rafes car. He's not back yet.
"Hey" perfect timing. You turn around, he looks at you and you hand him back his phone. "Where's the drinks?"
"Oh... I threw them over some asshole who stepped on my friends hand" Rafe raises his eye brows like that was the last thing he was expecting you to say. He holds his hand up
"Alright then" you high five his hand.
"I kinda got Pepsi all over my top though"
"My top" he smirks at you which makes you smile back
"Whatever. Do you mind if I go back to yours to change?"
Okay yes, I'm lying there's barley any Pepsi on this top but things are going so well with the pogues. If they can't accept I'm friends with Rafe they're not true friends I know that... Just maybe hold out a little longer?
"Come on trouble" Rafe says as he gets back in his car. You follow him and get in the passenger seat. The clock on his dash flicks on, it's still early. 7:56pm.
"You wanna do something fun?" You say to Rafe as he's going 35 in a 20. Rafe smiles at the road
"What you got in mind?"
"Well we never got that Pepsi"

Rafe parks up at the beach closest to his house. So many memories here. Nearly all of your beach days with him and Sarah are at this beach. Walking Rafes dog here, this is where all your early morning surfing was when you too lived so close by.
Rafe gets out and goes into the trunk. You get out too and follow him to the back of the car. He hands you a hoodie "I'm not cold" you say. The sun has set and the temperature has dropped but I don't need a hoodie. Rafe rolls his eyes and throws the hoodie over this shoulder before disappearing into the only open shop on the beach front.
You make your way down to the sand and take your shoes off. You sit down and lean your back against the wall and watch the tide. It's further in than normal and too flat to surf, nice view though. After a few minutes Rafe joins you with two bottles of Coke. "No Pepsi" he says as he sits next to you. You open the bottle and take a sip
"If you prefer Pepsi over Coke you're a weirdo anyway" Rafe laughs and opens his bottle.
"If I say something do you promise to not get mad?" You look at Rafe after what he just said but he's looking out to the sea.
"I promise" to
"I know you're lying about the beach I don't care about that as long as you're okay" you look away from him instantly. 11 years. "But I also know you were lying about calling me" you lean your head back against the wall in preparation for a lecture. "Just promise me you'll call me if something happens again?" He turns to look at you, you roll your head to the side to look at him. "I won't go mad, not if you need me. Just call me" he looks sad as he speaks to you, almost like he's begging
"Okay" you sigh loudly "I promise to call you" You mean it and he knows it. He nods and leans back against the wall too.
"I was at that party too" he takes another sip of Coke. "I went with Topper" you stomach ties in a knot when you hear his name. "I didn't really see him there until the end though. He got dragged into some fight, said he was too drunk to remember what happened" that makes you smile. Topper knows if he told Rafe what happened he'd be eating through a straw by now.
"I wasn't there too long. I stayed for a few drinks then left" you say. Rafe keeps quiet. I think he's just glad you've promised to call him if you're ever in the same situation.
"Where did you stay? I went looking for you after I saw the video, no one was home"
"You went looking for me?" You're shocked but when you really think about it you're not that surprised. There was a video of you involved in an pogue fight, of course Rafe lost his shit.
"Of course" he tried to play it off but you remember how he looked when you first saw him this morning.
"You know something Rafe Cameron" you take another sip of Coke and then allow yourself to look into his ocean eyes. "You may be giant, but you're a massive softie" you laugh. He smiles back at you.
"Only for you" he regretted saying it as soon as the words left his mouth you could tell. It even caught you by surprise. You both sit there awkwardly for a second sipping Coke.
'Only for me' what does that mean?
Me and Rafe have only ever been friends. Just friends.
Your racing thoughts are broken by a shiver. Suddenly you're covered in goosebumps. Rafe hands you the hoodie you said you didn't want. "Told you" he says. You take it without arguing and put it on. It drowns you, the sleeves hang off your hands and the hood covers your eyes. You pull the hood back so you can see and push the sleeves up. "Like I said, looks better on you anyway" you can't help but smile. You pull your knees up to your chest and look back out to the ocean.
"Can I stay yours tonight?" You feel Rafes eyes on you but you don't look at him. You don't want to say goodbye to this feeling of home yet, not tonight.
"You don't have to ask" he says. A cold ocean breeze washes over you making you shiver again. Rafe stands up and holds out his hand "come on" you take his hand and walk back to the car. He gets in but you take one last look back at the back, your beach.
You have a feeling the next time you come back here everything will be different. But I'm just being dramatic... right?