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"𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘴.."

-chapter 3-
{ Carla }

'My school life is as dull as ever , there's literally nothing to do...'

I think to myself while sitting on a bench during lunch, I have a sandwich in my hand and I'm sitting in front of the football field to watch todays football practice...

I focus with the teachers to the point I don't even need to study or revise anything at home.

Also the teachers are really nice and helpful here , they also take things nice and slow , they're relaxed and I'm beginning to like relaxing and taking it easy.

Academically the school's excellent , but although this is a school , it feels more like I'm in a theatre.. sometimes I feel like I'm the actor preforming on stage, and sometimes I feel like a spectator..

Whenever I get a good grade , whenever I speak in class , whenever I excel in a subject, the others stare at me in awe.

I'm not a special person..It feels good having a good reputation, but being the focus of the class as soon as I open my mouth? I'll pass.

Everything I say is a source of laughter and mockery... not just for the boys , but for the girls in class as well ..

They all think I'm some kind of alien cuz I moved here from Los Angeles...

I get it, they're people, they're gonna have opinions about you wether you like it or not.

It doesn't bother me as much as it did in the past , I'm glad I learned that only through real interactions can you form opinions..though others still lack that information.

While preforming on the stage of the theatre can be hurtful.. spectating can also hurt.

I feel like an outsider even with these new friends I made.. the fact is they know nothing about me, except the image I made for myself here, and I know nothing about them.

Whenever I see them in groups having fun , knowing they've all been in that group since kindergarten,
I feel sick to my stomach...

When I moved schools I also moved states.. my school friends were the last of my worries. So I naturally lost contact with my old classmates, the ones I've had since kindergarten, and even those who I didn't lose contact with , I pushed them all away...

Why?

Because I finally realized how great of a loss my ex best friends were ..

I missed my childhood friends dearly, the ones I had to cut contact with last year ,because we were being toxic to each other, the pain was driving me into a ditch..

At that time Everyone around me had someone special, and I resented them for it..
'why am I the only one who had to cut off contact with my best friends ?' I thought
... I wished hell upon everyone who still had a friend they could depend on..

I was afraid of getting this attached to any other friends so I pushed them all away. Leaving no one behind.

So when I saw the people in my class forming dense groups and bonds, like metal..

It's like they've built an iron wall around their friend groups... and you can't break it down that easily.

I've been here for a month and a half and I've barely grazed that iron.

I feel like I'm watching a happy movie, that I wish so badly to be included in , I wish to jump up on stage and be the main character who everyone loves and is friends with...

However, I'm just a spectator, so at the end of the day , I can't interfere with the performance, I can only watch...

As I'm lost in thought , I'm brought back to reality by ,my classmates Andrea , Nicky ,and my history teacher miss Hailey.

My teacher sits on the bench and they both follow in her steps and sit next to me , Andrea ends up sitting right next to me..

Only info I have about her so far , from my own deductions and not from rumors, she's the popular cool kid of this class.

Everyone at school knows her..basically she's the person with the most dominance among the girls.

so if she's participating in something half the other girls want to participate, she's kinda stuck up , she also enjoys teasing others , but sometimes takes it too far...

Oh and she has anger issues!

As I'm thinking of that I hear a voice coming from next to me "soo how are ya ?" Andrea says.

"I'm fine, how about you?" I say purposefully not looking back at her while talking, and continuing to watch the football match and eat my sandwich..

I know she speaks down to others, so I wanted to show her that she's not someone I need to look straight in the eyes while talking to..

"I'm fine... the weather is great today isn't it ?" She says taking her eyes off of me and looking at the match too, signaling she's started to treat me as someone on her 'level'.

"Yup, rare weather to find in California " I say

She pauses for a second looking for questions to ask me..

"Is California better than Los Angeles?" She asks her light brown hair fluttering in the wind..

"They both have their pros and cons" I say, I miss Los Angeles , but I know that if I go back now I'll feel abandoned.

"Hey you should really get to know the people around you before choosing your friends.." she says looking at me..

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Thank you for reading 😋