Long For

Silent love

I used to visit the Ngo, donate some money to that, the happiness was not in the money I had, I was spending on cigars, instead of destroying my own life I decided to donate that much amount of money to the Ngo. When I reached over there, a small one story house, which had a big garden to roam, the flowers seemed really good over the garden, I was walking by looking at all of this and then an old man said "Palash Chakraborty?" I looked at him.

"How do you know me?" I asked with a smile.

"I have read that book of your named Dowry, it was a great one," he said.

"Thank you," I said.

“Did you have some work over here?” he asked, I saw a girl of somewhat my age, coming out of the house, and watering the plants.

“Are you the trustee?” I asked.

“I am the founder of this organisation, may I help you?” he asked, then he turned behind and looked at that girl and said “Anaya beta, you don’t have to again pour water for the plants, you already gave them water an hour before,” then he grinned.

She didn’t say anything and just went by with the mug in her hand.

“Little girl, she isn’t able to talk, she is mute, has been staying here since the age of 3, like a little daughter to me,” he said and grinned again.

“Sir, I would like to donate a sum of money, what will be the process?” I asked, I again saw that girl, she had fair skin, a cute face, with an elegant smile.

“Fill the form and you can donate the money, first of all, thank you for doing it,” he said.

I smiled, as I went she followed the old man and then with her sign language told that there was no water left in the pot.

“Are you pouring the water to the plants with filtered water, Anaya?” the old man asked.

She nodded.

“That’s the drinking water, beta, I will fill it after a while,” I said.

“I will do that, if you want, sir,” I said.

“Don’t worry, she is naughty, I will do it,” he said and laughed.

“I can help, as if it is a holiday for me, I will spend some time over here instead of resting at home,” I said.

“You are doing a noble job, Palash,” he said and patted.

“Anaya, take him to your room,” he said.

Anaya couldn’t speak, but I would like to write what she said to me with her sign language. Though she wasn’t able to talk, she would give some really beautiful messages all the time.

“There is the pot, fill it,” she said in her sign language.

I went over and filled the pot with the water, she gave me a smile, after a long time a natural smile on my face came up for her. It was a good decision for me to come up here. Then she told me to sit as she wanted to talk, she didn’t ask if I wanted to sit, she just held my hand and made me sit down and then her talks began, half of them weren’t fully understood by me as I didn’t understand that sign language much, but I got the brief of it, even I tried to give her most of the reply with sign language as of even she should feel that it is normal, she could at least hear me and that was a good thing, we spent almost an hour or so talking, I didn’t spend this much time rather of Amrita, talking, I was talking for so long to a person who even wasn’t able to say anything but just had to express it, still she wasn’t sad at all, she always maintained a smile on her face.

“Why do you always smile?” I asked.

“Because my mom told me before she died that smiling to the world makes the world a better place for you,” she expressed in her sign language. This was the message I was talking about, the beautiful messages she always had.

Before leaving she told me that she wants to go to the Kali puja this year and I gave her a promise that I would take her for that, she passed me a smile and a sweet hug, and yet again a natural smile popped up.

It was Kali puja, the memories of Amrita again struck me but then I went to meet Anaya, she had closed the door, the old uncle said that she had bought a new dress and she is trying it. I waited there, then she opened the door and as I saw her in the white colour sari with the red straps, I couldn't take my eyes off, she looked just beautiful.

"Do I look good?" She said in her sign language.

"More than beautiful," I said and passed her a smile. She seemed really happy after that compliment, then I took her for the Kali puja and she decided to do the Dhunuchi dance, she learnt the way along and even did it, I stood at the side, pressing my back to one of the poll, with folded dance, just smiling the whole time seeing her learn and do it with confidence. In between she again asked that was she doing good and I again signalled "More better than others,"

Then we had bhog and had talks with the people who recognized me as a writer, she expressed everything so well with her signs. She seemed like a perfect girl, a girl who impressed me after Amrita. Then she went to offer some gifts to the poor child outside, I had seen in the movies that such sweet people exist but for the very first time I saw someone in real life, she was like an angel, then she held my hand and said with her sign language "We are getting late, dadu will be angry,"

I laughed and we both walked by the streets of Manikpur.

"Did someone close to you die?" She said with her sign language.

"Yeah, a girl I loved, she passed away a year ago, from that time I haven't written anything, I am no longer a writer but just a teacher," I said.

"Wouldn't that girl be sad if she saw you smoking cigars and sad all the time sitting in the garden," she said with her sign language.

"How do you know all of this?" I asked.

"I saw you many a times, a student named Akshita is my friend who is 10 year old who lives in the badi with me, she told me that she saw her teacher sad all the time,"

"That was something I wasn't even aware about," I said, "What can I do? She went by like…I can't say anything more, the problems I had in my life after that…I can't explain,"

"Had your dad left before you were born? Had your mother died when you were just three? You were homeless for months, you were scared of the people who looked at you? As if they are going to help you or are going to take advantage of you?"

"What are you trying to say?"

"That was my life, where other kids went to school, I was taught everything by my dadu, I didn't live that of a good life but I know someone is still living more of a bad life, when I gave that gifts to the poor kids I got the image of myself at that age when I used to ask for food like that, dadu once said that people always have problems but the person who finds a solution to it rather that cribbing about it wins the life, facing the problem with a smile makes the problem easier,"

"...okay…you…" I said and grinned. Did I fall in love just now? Even without thinking anything more I asked "Marry me?"

"What?"

"Marry me? I promise to keep that smile," I said.

"I heard the marriage party has some very good food," she said, I laughed out.

"But even I promise that I will let that smile on your face, that looks really good," she said and blushed out.

I didn't know what went through my mind from the very first day I met her, was I hunted by love at the first sight? I didn't know but this all just felt right, it didn't feel a bit wrong, I was happy back again, what more I could ask from a girl I would marry? I think even Amrita would be happy if she saw me happy.

"Wait," she told me to stop.

"What?"

"To marry, I need to ask dadu first," we both ended up laughing.