As It Was - Jschlatt x Reader

chapter six.

The anxiety from sending the text kept you awake. You flipped between various apps, trying to soothe your nerves; reaching out was such a difficult thing to do. Given the circumstances, he could straight up think you were drunk or something.

Your phone buzzed, startling you out of your haze, and smacking you in the face. You'll never lay on your back with it held above you again, that one hurt. Groaning, you checked the message, your eyes welling up from the impact.

I don't think we can just jump back to how things were. Not now, at least. We'd have to work back to how things were, but even then, things will be different. Nothing will be as it was ever again.

Ouch.

You'd of rather him just ignored you.

Sighing, you typed out a response, deleted it, and then decided it'd be better to see if Calico was awake for some help. You were surprised at how fast she answered, but then felt guilty when she sounded like she'd been woken up.

"Y/N? Not have enough of me?" She joked lightly, "what's up?"

"I texted him."

Silence on the other end punctuated her surprise. This wasn't what she was anticipating.

"Actually? Y/N, what'd he say?"

You read the text aloud to her, and you heard her sigh. The ruffling of the sheets on her end quieted, and you figured she'd gone into the AirBnB's living room, not wanting to be a disturbance to any other housemates.

"That really sucks, Y/N, but, there's some hope. It'll take time for him to trust you again after how things ended."

"That's fair," you sighed, hugging your favorite plushie, "but I just want things back to the good old days. I just wanna go back in time and tell him how much he meant to me, and I can't."

"I know, it's rough," you heard her stifle a yawn, "I'd offer more sympathy but unfortunately it's about five in the morning. Sorry."

"No, I should be apologizing for bringing something stupid up to you at this time... I just didn't have anyone to turn to."

"I'm glad you trust me to reach out," you heard a small smile in her voice, "but goodnight, Y/N, I'll reach back out in a few hours if I remember."

"Goodnight, Cal, sorry for waking you."

Once she hung up, your gaze went back to your ceiling. A melancholy feeling swept over your being, and you took a deep breath, sitting up and looking outside. The Sun was starting to slowly peek over the horizon, the skies losing their deep purples and blues and being replaced with golds and turquoises. It was a really pretty sight to see.

You figured that you wouldn't get much sleep. You may as well take an early morning run, and caffeinate throughout the day so you wouldn't pass out. You figured you could use the positive endorphins that runs give you, anyway.

Shrugging on your favorite color shirt and a pair of black leggings, you got yourself ready for a run, glancing to your phone again. You should respond to him before you forget, or alternatively, set a reminder so you don't act impulsively like you used to.

If you want to build a relationship, you're the one that needs to put in the work.

You hummed along to the song that came on as you shuffled your usual playlist, and headed outside. The crisp, cool May air of DC was a welcome feeling, it woke you up more than anything else would. It was as if you'd forgotten how wonderful it was to be outside, enjoying fresh air. Luckily, you were situated around Pennsylvania Avenue, so getting to the Mall was easy.

However, you couldn't be alone with your thoughts for too long, that'd be too kind.

"Y/N? You're up early."

You paused your music, and took your headphones from your ears, looking behind you. You weren't expecting Schlatt, also in running gear, to be jogging towards you.

This could only go so well after last night.

"Oh. Hello," you said blankly, "you're also up early."

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep," he stifled a yawn, "glad to see we had the same idea."

You were not as glad as he was. Just pretend you are and it'll be alright...

"I didn't think we would of had the same idea," you said carefully, "but if you're subtly requesting we walk together, that's fine."

"I'm open for it," he avoided eye contact, fidgeting with a cuticle, "we could get breakfast after? If you know a place, that is... You're the one who lives here."

"I mean, I have the Waffle House," you said, continuing your jog, "keep up, J, you'll fall behind."

He was quick to catch up, matching your pace almost effortlessly. The two of you used to jog together in the mornings before finals, it helped clear your heads and nerves. The power of endorphins really is unexplored.

"So, about last night's text," you began carefully, "and I only bring that up because it's better to discuss this in person rather than behind screens."

"What about it?" He asked, looking to you from the corner of his eye.

"Well, I know we can't go back to how things used to be," you sighed, "I get that we can't just jump back to how it was. What do I have to do to make it up to you?"

"Honestly?" He rose a brow, focusing on the path ahead, "nothing. If anything, I have to make it up to you. You were just following your own path, and I couldn't see a way to stay apart of it."

Your thoughts stopped entirely as he spoke. This wasn't what you were expecting.

"I'm sorry? You were the one insulting my job prospects, J," you frowned, "you were just mad that you couldn't tell if I would stay friends with you? I imploded the entire group and only barely just got Calico and Wilbur back!"

He stayed quiet, absorbing and processing your words. Both of you were at fault for the dissolution of the group, but he didn't realize how much blame you'd really packed on over the years. He felt horrible that you'd had to do that.

"I am so sorry, Y/N," he said quietly, "really. I didn't realize it was so bad for you."

"Don't apologize," you said tiredly, "because you didn't really do a lot wrong. We both are at fault, and I apologize for my own hand in the matter. But, like you said, we can't just jump back to how it was. It will never be as it was again."

He stayed quiet beside you, continuing to match your pace. It was evident the two of you would be absorbed into your own thoughts of guilt and regret, it wasn't a comfortable run anymore. It just felt tense and bitter.