You Are The Cause Of My Euphoria

Debut

 Fall into dreams with me. Like we never have to wake up and we never have to leave.

Grace's pov

>>>>>>>

Journal entry:

So, much has happened since I last wrote in this journal. As you know, I became a member of BTS, moved to Seoul, yada yada. We have our debut concert this week, and every single one of us have worked our asses off (excuse my language. God, if my parents EVER read this I'd be dead).

We have three nights to perform all of our dances, along with songs that have no dancing. Our performing songs are Fake Love, DNA, Dope, Fire, Mic Drop, PTD, Butter with dance break, Dynamite with dance break, Anpanman, Save Me, Idol, ON, Danger, Boy With Luv, Black Swan, my duet with Jungkook for Euphoria which is going to be performed on the last night along with Minji and Jin's singing duet for Epiphany, Dari and Jimin's duet for Filter which is going to be performed on the first night, and Faith and Taehyung's duet for Singularity will be performed on the second night.

The non-performing songs are Film Out, Life Goes On, Spring Day, Answer: Love Myself, Wings, Blue & Grey, and Let Go.

Jungkook and I's duet is a romantic one and I can't help but wish it was all real. I wish that Jungkook really did feel the way I feel for him, but it's just not meant to be. He's the cause of my euphoria, but he can't see it. And even if he did, would he reciprocate? He probably would just tell me that he's too old for me. He probably just sees me as the little sister he never had, someone to mentor.

I try to forget these feelings I have, but I can't. Sometimes he only has to look at me for me to go all weak inside. Just a comforting hand on the shoulder makes my heart race. Every kind thing he does for me makes me fall even more deeply in love with him, to the point where I can't even see anything but him. Is this obsession? If it is, I pray that God frees me from it. But what if it isn't? What if these feelings are real and valid? What then?

>>>>>>>>>>>

I set my pen down with sigh, looking out my bedroom window. I started a journal whenever I joined BTS several months ago. Swinging my legs over the side of my bed, my bare feet padded on the wood floor as I walked over to my window. Crossing my arms, I wrapped the folds of my lounge cardigan more tightly around me.

Sighing as I stared out the window, watching the people down below strolling the apartment complex grounds, some jogging, others talking the phone; some people were walking dogs, others were sitting on park benches doing the same thing I was.

Turning my attention to the city of Seoul in the distance, with its skyscrapers and buildings that shone like diamonds against the setting sun. I gave a sigh of contentment as I watched the enlarged sun slowly crawl its way down, splattering the sky with glorious hues of purple, pink, orange, and yellow. Creation truly is a wonder, God. Sometimes I wonder how many people take the time to really enjoy what you've created. Even if they don't believe in a loving God, do they still take a moment to stare out the glorious picture painted right in front of them? I usually ponder these things, though many don't know this about me.