Book 1
"There's no way he has feelings for me, Faith. It's impossible." I wrapped my arms around myself tightly.
She gazed into my eyes, before questioning softly, "What if." she paused for a moment before continuing. "He stares at you every time yo...
I can't even count the amount of times I said I was fine because I didn't want to bother anyone with my problems.
>>>>>>>>>>>>
Grace's pov
A couple months later...
My alarm clock went off and I groaned as I smacked it aggressively, silencing it. Sitting up with slightly close eyes, my hair is probably a knotted up mess. Flipping my covers away, I swung my legs over the side and walked tiredly to my bathroom. Placing a hand on my stomach, I grimaced, noticing that I was bloated. I turned on the light and looked at myself in the mirror. "Ugh, my face is so puffy today. I look like garbage, as I do pretty much every day." I critiqued myself as I touched my face.
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Turning around, I left the bathroom to grab my clothes and change. Combing through my closet, I picked out a baggy white t-shirt so I didn't have to look at my bloated waist, a pair of jeans shorts, and an oversized blue plaid shirt.Completing the outfit with my white Adidas, I set the clothes neatly on the bed so I could wear them after I workout.
Taking off my pajamas, I put on white athletic shorts with a sports bra and white netted look crop top.
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Looking at myself in my floor to ceiling mirror, I felt an immediate blow of depression. I'm skipping lunch most days and trying to eat only 1500 calories a day and if I eat more than that, I feel guilty. I still had pretty much no space between my thighs, my arms aren't as lean as I want, my waist isn't anywhere near as small as it should be. I still had love handles that were bulging out on the sides of my shorts.
Whenever I was at the KBS Song Festival, I couldn't help but feel disgusted by myself and insecure because I was surrounded by women who were slender, had defined curves, small waists and arms, slender thighs and shapely calves. The only thing I have are the shapely calves. I'm very short, only 5'2" and have a short waist and have small hips.
I look like a rectangle right now, even with my strict diet of almost zero carbs and eating only twice a day. I work out every morning, dripping sweat and I am seeing pretty much no results. Even the rest of the members have an hourglass shape; they all have the kpop idol look and I'm the odd one out. I haven't told anyone about this because they would tell our manager and then he would get involved and prevent me from doing what I'm doing.
