Not Just a Mirage

Chapter 20

Lindsey watched intently as she poured whiskey over two glasses of ice, her gaze avoiding his as they stood in her kitchen. They'd only been alone for a few minutes after Robin left before she declared they needed a drink to wash down the lines they just did. He certainly wasn't going to argue her on that.

After what felt like forever, she finally looked up to meet his eye again, sliding one of the glasses across the counter in his direction. Swiftly, he reached down to catch it without breaking eye contact. She swirled her drink in her hands a few times before taking a swig and a deep breath, Lindsey following suit and copying her.

"I needed that," she whispered.

"I worry about you," he admit softly.

"Well that's not your job anymore."

"Stephanie..."

"Don't Stephanie me," she sighed, running her fingers through her hair soothingly.

"You're exhausted, running yourself ragged, worrying about Robin, and snorting so much of that shit to try to make it all go away."

"I said don't, Lindsey," she snapped looking up, "You have some room to talk, swap out my lines for your liquor bottles and we're the same."

He raised his brows with a nod, he couldn't exactly argue that. Her look softened when she realized he wasn't going to. They stood in silence for a few more moments, neither one of them quite sure what to say next.

"So how did you end your not real engagement then?" She asked finally.

He looked at her blankly for a moment, taking another sip before answering, "I just said I'm not...I'm not there right now."

"A man of so many words," she rolled her eyes.

"What, do you want the entire play by play?"

"No. So then what, she dumped you after that?"

He shrugged, "No, it's, I don't know, it's complicated."

"She's just as much of a fool as you are. So what, you came here to tell me you're still together and basically the same level of engaged you were in France?"

"We're not engaged!"

She rolled her eyes, picking up her glass and walking out of the kitchen. With a groan, he followed her quickly as she headed towards the living room, taking a seat on the couch. Unsure, he sat on the cushion next to her, turning his body to face hers as a wave of silence once again fell over the room.

"Are you still with Jimmy?" He asked finally.

"Excuse me?"

"Jimmy. Are you two still together or what?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

He laughed sarcastically, taking another swig of his drink before placing it on the coffee table before them.

"What?" She repeated, getting annoyed with him again. "He's....we see each other."

A smirk played upon his lips, "You see each other? Christ, Stevie, see, you're exactly the same as me. What room do you have to critique Carol Ann and I?"

"Plenty," she rolled her eyes before sucking her bottom lip into her mouth, staring down at her own lap now. From the corner of her eye, she watched Lindsey's hand place itself on her calf gently, his fingers ever so slightly moving back and forth across the bare skin that peeked from underneath her dress. She watched them closely as they danced over her skin, his touch signaling goosebumps up and down her arms.

Nervously, she took her final sip of whiskey, finally looking up into his blue eyes again - his hand still glued to her leg. The way his gaze burned through her caused her to freeze for a moment, the movement of his fingers up and down her flesh the only movement in the room now.

"It was real," he announced softly, their eyes not breaking, "You and me in that chateau. It was real."

"I know," she whispered, her fingertips lightly grazing his hand now.

"Steph..."

"Hm?"

"Why were you so upset when you thought I was engaged?" His voice was still quiet, afraid to ask the question he'd been dying to ever since he arrived.

He felt her fingers clasp around his hand, giving a gentle squeeze before her palm ran up his arm slowly — never once breaking eye contact with him as her soft touch heightened all his senses. The way she looked at him let him know the answer to his question, but he needed to hear her say the words out loud.

Instead, her face moved closer into his as her hand snaked its way across his shoulder blade and up into the back of his hair. He stilled as she grazed his nose with her own ever so slightly, her eyes closing and fingers gripping onto his hair. His breath wavered as her lips lingered in front of his, circling his space without fully diving in. He wanted to lean in and kiss her with everything he had, but he knew he needed to let her take the lead right now.

"Steph..." he barely recognized the weakness of his own voice.

Finally, he felt her lips slowly latch onto his with all the delicacy in the world. She moved so slowly, as if she were preventing anything from breaking this moment between them. He tried to maintain composure as he felt her body lean into his, her tongue slipping into his mouth gently.

As she deepened the kiss, she pushed him back up against the arm of the couch, her warm body settling atop his slowly.

"Steph," he interrupted their kiss, "You didn't answer the question..."

She pulled back, her eyes finally opening as she looked into his once again, "Doesn't this answer it for you?"

Before he could respond, she was back to kissing him again, her tongue slowly exploring his mouth as she caressed the sides of his face. He could feel her body positioning itself closer against his and with a groan, he pulled away once again.

"No," he sighed, "I want you to say it."

She let out a deep breath, frustrated that he kept interrupting. "Say what?"

"You must have been pretty upset to have left the chateau so abruptly like that, Stephanie. Why?"

She licked her lips, knowing he wasn't going to make this easy on her. She needed a physical release and reconnection. He wasn't going to give into that until she said more. "Because you're still mine," she finally whispered, "Not hers."

He wanted to keep pressing her to say more, but he couldn't hold himself back from lunging into her lips roughly, her confession igniting a fire deep within him. A moan escaped her lips as she felt his hands grip her flesh, pulling her body onto his harder now as their tongues fought for dominance.

There were a million question marks that circled the air between them, but it didn't matter right now because this was still real. And no matter how hard they tried to fight against it, no matter how much they distracted themselves with work and drugs and avoiding the issues at hand, the sparks continued to consume them both. As he felt her wrap all her limbs around him tightly, he realized that maybe, just maybe, she still needed him just as much as he needed her.