Remembering Rain || ON HOLD

❦Part 16: flashback ❦

Dear Cassidy

Flashback, holiday, summer:

After breakfast I made my way upstairs to change into my sepia and white horse riding kit and made my way downstairs, the impact of my boots click clacking on the stairs turned everyone's gaze to me.

"Are you participating in the summer dressage and show jumping?" Our uncle Charles asked, "you'd be a perfect fit."

"Indeed she is, and I have faith that she will bring the cup home this year now that she's finally of age." Our mother approved,

"Good luck in training children." Our father approved, "Raphael will take you, and your cousins to the field."

"Thank you." I responded and made my way outside beside them.

The drive to Stony Hill stables was only about fifteen minutes but the silence that hung in the air spoke volumes. There was once a time when we had so much to talk about that we couldn't shut up. And now, well you know how it was, we could barely look each other in the eye without guilt clawing at our throats. We were growing up in different ways, as girls often did.

Once we arrived at the stables we were surprised to meet more of our childhood friends, that we'd inevitably grow apart from and forget, Lisa, Jane and Daisuki. Lisa and I know each other better than most, we'd been friends all summer. It wasn't a shallow type of friendship  that I had with many of the girls back in Osaka, it was the kind of friendship that was silent, the kind that brewed a certain kind of loyalty over the years that couldn't be dissolved.

Lisa is the only daughter of the Shin's, a wealthy family famous for their flourish in textiles. She's a rather sweet girl, the kind that often gave me a tooth ache at just how chipper she always was. She was the kind of person I looked at and envied because of how easy life had been on her, I knew the reason she smiled was because life hadn't yet hit her and I prayed to God to have mercy on her once it did.

Dai is the oldest son of his brothers and a grade A playboy, but you already know all this Cass don't you? I assure you that there's a reason I'm writing this entry in.

We leaned forward and hugged them, kissing both cheeks like society had taught us to do when you encounter friends.

"What a lovely surprise!" Lisa beamed, adjusting her silken hijab. "We didn't know you were coming to the hamptons this summer Cassidy, it's been so long."

"Cassie tends to creep up on you like that." Jane commented with a smirk, "it's been years."

"I know." You shrugged with a slight smile, "clearly not long enough if you haven't rid of that wretched nickname."

Dai gave a poor excuse for a manly hug before speaking, "We're going to have a wicked summer Sikazwe you just wait." Nate marvelled turning his hand clockwise at the horizon, "can't you already see it? the vacation , the wine the sunshine, it'll be heaven on earth."

"You haven't changed one bit Dai." You groaned with a slight laugh, "I'm not certain if that's a good thing or not."

"Oh stop it Dai you're such a bad influence." Our cousin May teased with pouty lips and he winked at her,
"You know how Cass is."

"You don't know 'how' I am at all." You scoffed with a questioning glance,

"I'm your big cousin I quite literally taught you how to color between the lines, I'm pretty sure I know you well enough." May retorted,

"She's got you there Cassie ." Jane laughed and so did I as I gave her a high five,

"You know what I let you." You responded ominously before placing a hand on her shoulder and walking away.

Jane grabbed my arm with wide eyes, "you didn't tell me Cass got so pretty!" She gaped, "I mean she was always pretty but this time it's in a stunning kind of way, not the childhood crush with braces and lanky arms kind of way."

One thing you should know Cass, if you didn't already, is that Jane had been smitten by you since we were kids in a sandbox. That's the reason why she always wanted to be on your team during any games we played, why she always sat beside you during movie night.

"I know right?" Lisa added, "I mean I'm strictly into women only but damn, he's gorgeous."

"Ew this is the part where I leave—" May proceeded but Dai grabbed her arm to stop her,

"Wait Princess." He paused, "we're taking my dad's yacht out this Saturday, we'd love it if you, Cass and Genesis would come."

"What's in it for me?" She asked mischievously,

"I can promise you a good time." Dai responded,

"Okay." She smiled then rolled her eyes at me, "you in Genesis?"

"Sure I'll ask our mom." I assured her, "she will probably say yes because she has an auction night Saturday anyways."

"See you guys there, don't dress like a nun, it'll be hot out." Jane warns.

I then proceeded to attend practice, well technically I've been practicing all year long, Horse riding was always my summer hobby, it was fun to do under the sun but after that I never really bothered taking it up away from school. My academics were my priority. I've known my place on this soil since I set foot on it, as much as I wanted it to be it wasn't my home, my home is in Tokyo, by the buildings and beside my own. But I had to be here for the summer so I might as well make the best of it all.

I wrote on the saddle of my horse Unathi, I've had her since I started riding when I was about twelve, I learned everything I knew beside her. She's a Dutch warm blood horse with a shiny umber coat and curious dark eyes. She speaks of her emotions with every movement she makes. And as I read her, she reads me, and in this sense of one another our everlasting bond is made.

I shift my gaze to the stables where I see you standing beside Jane, her arms are wrapped around your neck in a careful embrace. I watch her whisper sweet nothings to you and you smile at her in a way that makes my heart race, not the because of the adrenaline of being on horseback and I don't know why I felt that way. Maybe at the realization that you were growing up faster than I was, you were building bonds I'd know nothing of. I'm encountered by a sudden turn that I didn't see coming because I was distracted, distracted by the fact that I felt I was losing you.

And I attempt to sharply turn pulling the reigns but it's too soon and I fall off Unathi to the ground, staining my white slacks with grass and dirt. I groan in pain just as you race over to me calming Unathi by placing a gentle hand on her head, "easy there girl, it's alright." You coo before feeding her a sugar cube and she relaxes.

You reach out a hand to me and I narrow my eyes blinded by the afternoon sun, "come ere" you gesture and I grab hold of your hand, slender, reassuring and familiar.  "You're okay, okay?"

I liked the way you didn't ask me if I was okay, you just knew I was, you told me I was. You were my sister, my best friend.

"Okay." I sigh, "sorry I was just, absent minded."

You nod silently before reaching down and placing your hands on my shoulders , your gesture made me feel safe. You helped me up and I hopped back  on Unathi's saddle.

"Thank you." I said clearing my throat, I was never good with words.

"I'm always with you Genny." You spoke with a slight laugh, your teeth gleaming, "try not to be so...distracted anymore or this will be a long summer."

That was the first summer we truly came of age, it was a summer of so many firsts. It was the first time I truly learned that we were so drastically different, yet we got along as if we were just the same. It was the first time I was truly able to acknowledge that I would not always be beside you, that soon enough you would grow up and away from me. And it was the first time I would also accept that fate, I slowly learned to become my own person, developed my own interests and stopped waiting for people to see me. I knew they never would, at least not in the same way that they saw you. No one ever bothered to look twice in my direction, no one ever even dared, no one until....

Rain. All he ever did was pour down on me.