Malec oneshot

A Mission & Our Memories ♥️ { Ch ~ 4 }

Mags walks past Alec and Alec has never felt this kind of nervousness ever..more like fear if we say it correctly.. he knows he has made a mistake and he will pay for it.

Alec : Ma... Magnus!

Alec stammers and is not sure if this is the right time as Mags is furious and upset but he knows one thing that he can't let it go.. he won't.. and hell his Mags looks hella hot when he is furious.. okay Alec focus.

Mags : Hmm!

Mags says by taking a book and sitting on the couch.. he opens the book and starts to read... Alec can see that coldness in Mags' voice but he knows he deserves this treatment.

Alec : Can we talk?

Alec sits beside Mags and tries to take that book from his lover's hand but Mags jerks his hand off.. Alec feels hurt and now he knows how much it hurt Mags too.

Mags : There is nothing to talk about!

Alec : Mags please!

Alec is pleading with his eyes and asking his lover to hear him once.. he is very guilty and he wants to apologise whether Mags forgive him or not.

Mags sighs and puts the book aside.

Mags : Continue!

Still a cold voice but Alec can't be more happy in that moment at least Mags is willing to hear.

Alec : I'm sorry Mags, everything happened so fast, I didn't know what we were dealing with, I just can't bail on my friends and family, I had to go!

Mags : Hmm!

Alec : Mags just the way the whole downworld is your kid, this institute is my kid and I have to be there to support them, help them and save them, even if it takes my life, I have to be there for each of them, they are my responsibilities!

Alec's explanation is getting on Mags' nerves.. it isn't something he wants to hear right now.. being there for his people wasn't the matter for Mags.

Mags : You are still not getting, are you? It's not about you going on a mission!

Mags raises his voice a little and closes his eyes to calm himself down.

Alec : I know, it's not about me going on a mission, it's about I haven't told you about the mission, I have got through that phrase, didn't I? I was scared the whole night and finding you like a lunatic not knowing if you were alive or not,not knowing if I would ever be able to confess my love for you or not, I know how it feels Mags!

Mags can see that pain in Alec's eyes.. that night was horrible for them and still a worst memory but this situation is completely different.

Mags : I know but it's not the same!

Alec : I know it's not the same and I'm not saying that either, what I'm trying to say is I know how it feels to search for your love in fear, I know how it feels to not know about your love,I have felt that so I know your pain as well Magnus, I made a mistake but honestly I didn't have any clue of the incoming situation, I didn't know what will happen and I honestly didn't want to worry you but as always I ended worrying you, I tried my best to balance everything but at the end I suck, we were already lucky enough that you came!

Alec looks down at his hands.. he is rubbing his hands and feeling guilty.. he knows he would never dare to lose Magnus so he never wants to drag into his shadowhunters matters but he forgets that sometimes you need to hold that hand even if you aren't gonna make it.

Mags looks at guilty Alec and sighs.. he doesn't like that look on his face.. he holds Alec's both hands and makes him look at him.

Mags : Do you really think, things like this if you won't share then it will make me less worried?