Shades Of Cool

Chapter 7.

It's funny to remember myself a few weeks ago, it feels like I was a different person, blind and simple just walking like a zombie thru the world and now I have meet light itself and it has showed me all the beautiful things I was missing.

I had plan to inviting my brother and my friends here, but now I don't want them close, I already can hear them saying "What do you think you're doing James?" "It's this a new phase of yours?" or some crap like that.

 "How do you know I wasn't here?" I ask.

"Uhm... I ... I..."She hesitates, her face is blushing. She has the most beautiful guilty look.

"Come on, let's take a walk." I leave a bill on the table and take her hand, and we walk back outside.

Her hand is cold. I let it go and take off my coat and put it over her shoulders, her eyes light up with surprise but then a warm smile appears in her face. "It's your turn, tell me about yourself." I say holding her hand again. She looks at and then back to the horizon where you can see city lights light up like a blurry Christmas tree, we walk to the balcony in silence, she's watching the landscape so peaceful I can see she's thinking, remembering.

"I'm new." She almost whispers, not moving her body and inch, just looking thru the landscape to something invisible that my eyes will never be able to see.  I'm no longer looking at the lights but at her, her profile half lighten, half shadow, high cheekbones, long lashes, big lips, she's not the regular kind of  "Breath taking" beautiful girl, not the kind of girl you would stop to see or would drag that much attention, she's the kind of girl who would take your breath out in surprise that you didn't stop to watch her, and you have to blink to see if you were blind to not have seen her better, the kind of girl you that looks regular from afar but when you're inches from her you can see she's not from this world, she can't be something else but an angel.

"New?"

"I have never dated anyone. Ever."   What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck.

She looks at me scared with regrets of words that came out of her mouth; she's looking at me like if she just confessed me about killing someone. I think I have the same face as her now like if we're playing mirror with horror faces and empty eyes, speechless.

Never in my life I would have guess that this beautiful girl never had a boyfriend or dated anyone, I mean, the way she moved and how flirty and smart ass she was with me, I would have never thought she was inexperienced, I can't look at her the same, I can't think about her the same, I want to take her in my arms and never let her touch the floor or she could break into pieces and disappear.

What did I do to deserve this free ticket to heaven? Or is it hell? My brain feels like Tetris and I need to put every piece in order gently so it won't blow out. What do I want to do is no longer a question in my thoughts, what I need to do is the priority. I couldn't look myself in the mirror right now; I won't look at myself in the mirror tonight because I wouldn't be able to stand it.

I don't even remember how I did it, but all I know is that her hair feels soft in my hands and she smells like berries and vanilla, her lips taste sweet in collusion and synchrony at the same rhythm with mine. I don't know anything in my life right now, I don't remember anything about me or who I am, the only thing I know is that this right second is why I was born.