She Fell First

Remorse

Zain stood in front of the mirror, staring back at his reflection.

His eyes engulfed in rage and despair. Tiny droplets of sweat fell, his forehead covered by his curly but messy hair, as he leaned forward.

He hated himself. One couldn't fathom the amount of hate Zain felt during that moment. If anger was tangible, the mirror would shatter into trillions of pieces.

SMACK!

He punched the wall next to the mirror, gritting his teeth. He kept on punching the wall again. Again and again till his knuckles felt numb and hurt like it was scorched in blue flames. The boy staggered back and leaned on the wall, slowly falling to the floor, his back scraping against the rough surfaced wall. His eyes started welling up in tears but he brushed the tears off.

Men don't cry. They don't...cry....

Zain stared at the ceiling as if to stop the tears from flowing down his cheeks. Each tear leaving his eyes, carried the pain out with them.

He fell hard for them, wanting to risk everything for them but after a while they all left him. Every single one of them. Ever since then, he swore to himself that he won't ever show anyone this vulnerable side of his.

Everyone said to him, that there were other fishes in the sea but what they didn't realize was that his fish rod was broken. He didn't believe in fate or coincidence, for if he did, it would only continue this cycle of pain. A normal person would think a girl was interested in them even though she was only being nice. This boy was not simple-minded. He was not like the rest of the flock.

All of this was broken, when he met her, Lia. Her blue eyes which looked way more beautiful than the sea. Her smooth hair that jumped up and down as she laughed. Her dimpled cheeks as she gives him one of the most beautiful smiles he's ever seen.

Just seeing her smile, was enough to brighten up his day. He didn't want anything else. He was afraid that if they did end up getting together, he'd end up losing her too.

All was lost on the day she confessed her feelings to him. He couldn't bare taking that risk. Why'd she have to fall for him? She could have fallen for anyone else.

And now even though, he's rejected her and still securing the possibility of a friendship, it still kills him from the inside. His mind raced and rang only one thought.

Did I lose her too?