Delicate

13

Liam's POV:

"Ahh! O.. Oh!... aghh! AAAH!", Rachel moaned as she climaxed on my cock. I held her by her hair and positioned her face in front of my dick. I shoved my dick inside her mouth and made her lick me clean. I didn't want any of this woman's cream on myself. 
I zipped my pants up and she stood up wobbly on her feet. 
"You're fired. I don't want to see you anywhere near my Company."
"B-but sir?"
"You think you can come to your boss and show boobs instead of the files I gave you to work and, your boss will be impressed? I don't want some cum slurping secretary in here. I want someone truly capable of this position."
I left before she could say anything and saw a pile of files kept on my table. I turned one page of the topmost file and saw Ana's signature.

Did she?

She mustn't. "No!", I shouted.

Panic floods my heart.
The first signs of panic arrive. It's a discomfort in my chest, a feeling in my brain like excess caffeine... then it sets in deeper. 

I went out of the office and drove my car home straight. I ran hurriedly to my room and locked the door. It's happening again. Why the fuck? Fuck! After so many years! Why?!

My mind started spinning, my vision got blurry and the lights in my room began to burn my eyes. My breathing was labored, I felt like my lungs were going to collapse, and my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. My limbs went numb, my mind wouldn't stop racing, too many thoughts were going through my mind, and I couldn't control myself any longer. I was screaming, but I couldn't hear myself. Everything was silent except for the steady beating of my heart. 

What did I do? Fuck! I mean, it's not like I haven't fucked before like this but- but- Why am I feeling guilty? I called it off with Ana. Then why am I thinking if she gets hurt by my actions? 

Oh, Lord! Where have I been stuck at? 

I realized even if I had called it off, even if I ended things with her, her memories are imprinted on my heart. She was the one I thought of fucking that girl in the office- whatever her name was. 

And I guess that's how you know you love them: when your heart aches; when your stomach drops; when your lungs feel like they're caving in, just because of the thought of hurting them yourself.

I am scared that she saw me like that. I want her to know my truth but not like this. I need to contact her. I think. But my body was numb.

My toes went numb, I could no longer feel any part of my body and I began to crumple to the floor. All I remember was feeling like I was going to collapse from the inside out, my heart hurt indescribably and suddenly everything went black.

*2days later*

"LIAM!!...LIAM! LIAM!..", I blinked my eyes open as the light from my surroundings hit me. I came to my senses and saw Luke over me. His brows crinkled and anxious.

I rubbed my eyes and asked, 
"What happened?"
"I'm sorry! I wasn't here for the last two days!", he was on the verge of a emotional breakdown. I could sense that in his voice. But I wondered, why so?

"So..?"
"You were like this for like, two days and I didn't do anything."
"What happened to me?", I was shocked, what does he mean?
"You were unconsciously lying here, in your room, for the last two days..", my eyes widened as a reflex, "..but what caused you to have a panic attack after so many years?", Luke asked with serious concern in his eyes. I was at a loss for words. I couldn't think straight after hearing this.

That's when I remembered,

"Ana!...", I attempted to stand up but couldn't, "Where is she? I need to see her!!", I almost shouted kneeling helplessly. Luke held me by the shoulders,
"It's crazy...you need to rest before that Liam!"
"No, Bro I messed up...I need to make it right somehow...anyhow!", my voice moistened.
"But where'd you find her? She resigned from the Company already."
"WHAT!?"
"Yes, she sent me the letter through Jenny...I mean, Jennifer."
"Fuck-", I hissed under my breath as I stumbled and Luke held me for support when I got up.

I screened through my phone and there were no calls, no texts, nothing from her side. 

I realize that this place right under my chest, within the rib cage, that beats and keeps me alive is possessed by her. 

I could always try to tell myself otherwise but nothing helps when you're addicted.

I was addicted to her. Her face, her eyes, her smile, her touch, her sight, her voice, her laugh, everything about her and HER. 

I somehow managed to go to the car and Luke drove it for me. We went to the office as I wanted to talk to Jennifer first. She must have any clue. 

And the 10 min drive never felt like forever as it did now.