The Soldier and The Spy: Jay Halstead- Episode 7

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Blackberry.

She smelt like blackberry.

It had taken him forever to figure it out, and he couldn't be sure, not until she had a shower but he was pretty sure it was some kind of berry and that only left a couple options; it was too tart to be a strawberry, too strong to be a blueberry, and he didn't think cherries actually counted as berries. Which left raspberries and blackberries and he didn't know why but blackberries just felt right.

What he did know was that he'd never thought this long or this hard about fruit before.

Berries.

He also didn't think he'd ever thought this long or this hard about a woman, not with this level of care or intensity anyway. And even with how full his head was of her he'd still managed to find sleep, more than he'd expected to but she was warm and soft and kept nuzzling her nose into the hollow of his throat and Jay found himself relaxing more than he had in... he didn't know how long. Longer than this tour. And the last. He didn't know if he'd ever felt this at peace, with anyone else or with himself. But she was a source of anxiety too. Every time Tess let out another quiet whimper his eyes shot open, running over her to see if he was holding her too tightly or too awkwardly, shooting glares over his shoulder at that corner by the door like he could scare away whatever was bothering her.

Which made Jay feel even worse when he was the one who scared her. Since he hadn't been expecting to fall asleep he hadn't been expecting his alarm to go off, the shrill, incessant beeping startling him awake before he quickly fiddled with the buttons on his watch, letting out a heavy sigh when it finally shut up. And belatedly realizing that Tess had slumped into him in response.

"You okay?"

She nodded but she was shaking, not like she was scared but like-

Like she had been.

"It's okay, it was just my watch, my alarm- you're okay-"

"I know."

She said it so simply, and even though her voice was so small he almost didn't hear her when she looked at him Jay knew she meant it.

She knew she was safe with him.

All night he'd been thinking of her but now his head went empty, just watching her watch him, those blue eyes tracing his face with an intensity that made him swallow, which she noticed, her hands fisted in the front of his shirt, twisting the material like her mouth suddenly twisted, her brows furrowing-

"What is it?"

"I think I have to pee." She said slowly, like the concept was a foreign one.

"Well that's a good sign."

She blushed, he thought she did anyway, it was hard to tell but she made a noise like she was embarrassed, which was fair because he sure as hell wouldn't want anyone helping him in the bathroom. But if it was needed...

"You sure you don't-"

"Yes." She said firmly, flicking her fingers at him in a way he couldn't help smiling at.

"It's totally okay if you have an accident alright? I've got another set of clothes. Only one though and then I'm going to have to steal Mouse's."

"Jackass."

The look of shock on her face as she quickly shut the door told him she hadn't meant to say that out loud but he couldn't help laughing.