13 Whole Package

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TW Body image issues and sexual assault mentioned

"Mornin." Tom said softly, taking a sip of what I assumed to be coffee based on the smell "Doms awake, wants to talk to you." I didn't respond, instead making my way to the fridge to grab a can of Dr pepper "He's not just gonna go away."
"I know. Just thinking."
"Wanna come think over here?" I sighed and made my way over to sit beside him on the couch "He's taking a shower. So you got a bit of time." I sipped my drink, ignoring him again "Do you want me to go home. We don't have to talk about last night if you don't want to." Although I knew he'd do it, he still sounded quite sad at the thought of me wanting him to leave
"No. Wouldn't call you up like that just to use you." I looked up at him and away from my can "Consider this your place too."
"Thanks. I-"
"Is she awake yet? I really need to-" he cut himself off when he saw me, ironic considering he didn't let Tom finish what he had to say "Oh. Hey kit."
"What we're you gonna say tom?" I didn't even look at dom, this was Tom's moment
"Just I appreciate the offer of a nice place to stay."
"Like I said. Your home too."
"Well I'm gonna go, let you talk to dom." He pulled me in for a hug "Call me if you need me yeah?" He whispered, making me smile since it was after I'd already done it that he was making the offer
"Yeah okay." He got up, putting his cup in the sink "See you later?"
"Yeah. See ya around." He hugged dom too "Right, try not to kill each other whilst I'm gone." Me and dom both watched as he left, awkwardly looking at each other once the door had closed. I stood up and he moved out of the way, presumably making way for me to go back to my room
"Can I hug you?"
"Can you hug me? Or can you have a hug?" I tried to hide my smile, opting to simply shrug "Cmere." I walked into his outstretched arms and wrapped mine around his middle "I know what I did."
"Dom, don't."
"No. I think I need to put out there that I know what I've done. And that I was in a bad way. And both of them exist at the same time." He was holding me tight, talking out into the room, almost as if trying to tell me to my face hurt him a little "I just think that it's not something I really have had to talk about properly, and it's hard." He took a deep breath "But I'm trying, and I'm sorry for shouting at you. That wasn't what I wanted at all from all this." He looked down at me "You listenin?" I nodded "You understand me?" I nodded again "You never made anything worse. I made them worse, for both of us." I nodded again since I didn't really have much to say "I'm sorry. I know that's what I should've started with I suppose." I sighed and put my head down, cheek to his chest
"All I wanted." He chuckled
"So the putting my heart out there wasn't any good?"
"You know that's not what I meant."
"I know. Sweetheart I'm so sorry for the way I've been treating you. You guys were never the enemy. You are not the enemy."
"I appreciate that, making it personal. Makes me feel like you've seen how you hurt me as a person too." I looked up at him and he smiled at the sight of my face
"I will do whatever it is to make you feel better kit. Promise. My life on it and everything." I put my head back down, cheek to chest again "We should make some breakfast. Full English?"
"Nah I'm a fussy fucker. Won't eat half of it."
"Well." He pulled me away from him, much to my dismay "Tell me what you do like and ill make it for ya. Sound good?" I nodded smiling like a little kid at him "alright, we need to make it before our afternoon lecture though okay?"
"Do we hav-"
"Yes moody, we have to. Cmon, come talk to me whilst I cook, I like it."

"Look there she is?" I rolled my eyes, waiting for dom to get out of the lecture theatre. I cursed him for choosing today of all days to speak to our lecturer "Where's your little boyfriend? That weird little freak."
"What do you want?"
"Nothing much, just want proof. Wanna see you two kiss." Dom must have heard what was going on, not like the guy was being quiet or anything. He walked out and smiled at me
"Hey babe. You ready to go get that drink now?" He took my hand in his softly squeezing to indicate he was completely for the idea of us pretending for safety
"Go on. Kiss." The guy was teasing like a 14 year old bully, nothing like the man in his twenties that stood before me. Dom looked at me and I gave him a look that told him he was okay to kiss me, just to get this guy of our backs. He gently cupped my face and planted a soft kiss on my lips. The guy and his group of equally immature friends all laughed and cheered, unsettling considering the fact they were, in essence, praising the fact he wasn't gay. Dom gently squeezed my hand before pulling away "Wow man. You're into girls and you pulled her, fucking pathetic. Do better, rockstar." They all went off, laughing and talking amongst themselves, dom watching them walk away for a brief second but soon turning back to me
"Can we go home now, finally?"
"Yeah, yeah course we can...babes." he was clearly happy to joke about it but I wasn't in the same mindframe
"Stop it dom." I shook his hand off of mine "let's just fucking go."
"Okay okay. We're going." He picked my bag up off the floor but I snatched it from him
"I can fucking carry it."
"Alright. Well I'm right here if you-"
"I don't. Just fucking move or I'm locking you out."

Doms pov
I waited for her to come to me. But it was too long to wait if I was relying on her timing. I knocked on the door, a timid, shy knock because I was deathly afraid she's bite my head of again
"It's open" she said, clearly crying. I opened the door up and saw her sat on the floor, tears streaming down her face. She was sat in front of a mirror and without a word from her I knew exactly what had triggered this. She was sat in her underwear and a bra but she didn't seem phased by me being there seeing her in such a state. I sat down with her which only seemed to get her more worked up as she started sobbing and hyperventilating
"Breathe, cmere." She crawled over into my lap and let me hold her "In and out like me okay?" She shook her head "you are fucking beautiful alright? I don't care what he says you're the best girl ever." She shook her head
"You've seen supermodels you liar." I knew the anger wasn't at me but it still kinda stung
"Kit sweetheart you're going to make yourself sick. You need to breathe with me." She clung to me, eventually breathing along with me once she'd got ahold of her emotions "You're fucking beautiful. In every way okay?"
"Then why don't you wanna fuck me?"
"Because I don't want to have sex with you. It's just not that kinda relationship. And you don't want that either."
"I know I don't but I want to know that people want to fuck me." I saw her point of view as much as the way she was talking about herself upset me "Why don't you? Is it because I'm not sexy enough?" I sighed and held her close
"No. I'm just not sexually attracted to you. You're fucking hot, is that what you want me to say?"
"Is it a lie?"
"No. But still feels creepy, like I'm trying to get you to bed me." She giggled at that "You should get some comfy clothes on. Forget about that guy."
"I can't. He's right."
"No he's not. You're the full package. And you will be the best thing that's ever happened to someone. Just cos that isn't me doesn't mean I don't see it."
"Even when I'm ugly crying." She looked up at me and I smiled, wiping the tears from her face with my thumb
"Even when you're ugly crying." She nodded
"Don't deserve you." She moved back to how she was laid against me, no longer looking me in the eye
"You do"
"Yknow, the last guy I did this in front of took it as an invitation. Tried to like, I don't know, fuck me into believing I was pretty."
"No. I would never do that to you. You're vulnerable you need to be nurtured not manipulated."
"I'm sorry I'm offloading on you."
"No. Its okay, explains how to make you feel better. I don't like what the man did. But I promise you I'm not him okay?" She nodded "I love you. But you really should get yourself into something you feel comfy in."
"Am I making you uncomfortable?"
"No baba, just don't like the idea of you sitting there in something you were crying about. Doesn't feel right to me."
"Okay. Then we should watch a film?"
"Was thinking maybe we could order a takeaway? Yknow, just truly relax?"
"Haven't we got some stuff in, like healthy stuff."
"You can have healthy stuff if you want? But only if it's what you really want. It's not him is it?" She thought about it for a minute then nodded
"Takeaway sounds good."
"Okay, well you get ready and ill go get some stuff ready in the living room."

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