King Kong - Ice Age

1/1

What's scariest is when the thing that you thought would save you, doesn't save you.

x

I survived by pure chance. I wish I was dead.

x

She hasn't responded in six months. I wake up every day feeling sick, my stomach twisted. I don't care about work anymore. I have to find her.

I don't tell anyone anything. I just drive to the marina and park in the parking lot. Anyone around would think I was just takin' the boat out, like any normal Tuesday.

I lean my head against the headrest. It takes me a while to get out of the car. My phone rings, and I go to silence it, but accidentally pick it up.

"Yo Jack, you ain't workin', you wanna come over?"

Carl. He's been calling me every day like clockwork. This is the first time I've picked up.

"Sorry Carl, I didn't mean to pick up," I say, then curse myself for my blunt honesty, as usual.

"Well gee thanks," Carl says. "Why not? You haven't picked up for five days straight!"

"I'm leaving, Carl," I say. I don't give a crap anymore if he knows. Let him know. Let them all know. I barely have the energy to talk anymore.

"Woah, where are you going?" he asks.

"Up your--" I begin, then stop. Carl's incessant questioning has given me some kind of energy, albeit annoyed. "I'm going to the Island. My mom hasn't responded, man. I'm frickin' going."

"What island?" Carl asks slowly.

"The-the-" I stop, annoyed. "Don't mess with me, Carl. Not about my mom."

From the other end of the line, Carl inhales a sharp breath. Just his breath sounds angry, which makes me angry, but before I can cuss him out, he says, "I'm coming over" and hangs up.

x

This is not an adventure story.

I can hear Carl's giant engine groan into the parking lot and screech to a probably terrible parking job, fifteen minutes later. Carl lives five minutes away from me, and it took me half an hour to drive here.

By the time he clamors up to my boat, I'm already starting the engine. I roll my eyes as he tracks mud all over the floor.

"Don't even start," I say, eyeing the worried look on his face.

"Start what?" Carl asks, grinning despite himself, I can tell, because he quickly forces his face back to a frown.

"Don't even start feeding me some bull crap about how I shouldn't sail 30,000 miles to a government facility."

"What?"

"I'm going, Carl. To find her. I'm sick of waiting around. She would have responded by now. She would have."

He cuts me off with, "I'm just worried about you man."

"I'm not gonna get arrested. In fact, if I do, let them. Maybe then she'll hear about it. I need to find her."

"This is a suicide mission. You can't sail on this dingy all the way to the Arctic," Carl says.

"Well I'm doing it, man. I don't have anything here for me anymore. I don't care. Life means nothing to me. Without her."

Carl's face looks like he'll never grin again. "Well I'm not going to let you go alone."

x

The air gets colder and colder as we sail North. No west, no east, just North. We pass the sea lions sleeping on the rocks and the porpoises chasing our waves and the orcas breaching the water, but I steer far away from all of them. I just want to be alone.