Assigned Partners

Chapter 4

Trigger warning: self harm mentions

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Not that I expected differently, but we didn't have time in class today for the project. I also didn't speak two words to Normani during class either. I figured it'd be like that though. It's not like we're friends or anything. Camila is her friend. Ally and Dinah were sitting with them today too though, and I couldn't help but feel left out in a sense. I mean, Camila wasn't really friends with the other girls, but now they were all sitting there laughing and talking. Am I really that unlikable that I don't even get a hello from my partner? I guess so.

Normani and I really should be working on the project at some point, but given the fact that she never said anything to me and I was too nervous to approach her. I just went about my day, trying not to think about it. We were told we were having class time tomorrow, so I guess we'd just do more of it then.

The next couple classes went by slowly, more than they usually did. I was pretty unfocused for the most part, but I had still managed to get down all of the notes I needed to, and none of my teachers questioned my constant spacing out. I don't even think they noticed. Most of the teachers here don't notice me much. I'm okay with that.

When lunch rolled around, I sighed. I hated lunch time. I made my way into the cafeteria, and tried to find somewhere to sit. I had packed my own lunch that day, there was no way in hell I was going to eat the cafeteria's poor excuse for food. It was more like flavoured mush. I went up to a table that had a few empty seats, slowly.

"Is it alright if I sit here?" I asked softly, pointing to a chair.

All of the girls sitting there shook their heads, and the one closest tot he chair lifted her backpack on it.

"It's taken."

"What about that one?" I pointed to a different chair.

"It's taken too," a different girl said, putting her bag on it.

They all avoided looking my way, and I bit my lip, walking away. Of course this would happen. I approached another table, and the minute I came up to it, the same thing happened. Fuck it, I thought. I wasn't about to go up to any others. I understood that nobody wanted me to sit with them. I couldn't blame them, I wouldn't want to sit with me either. I brushed past the table of cheerleaders keeping my head down as I picked up speed to get out of the cafeteria.

Once I left, I went to the music room. I wasn't sure why, there were so many other places I could have gone. It had grown to be one of my favourite places here. It was always open for students to use, but thankfully nobody else had the same idea as I did. The room was empty, thankfully. I closed the door behind me, and I went to the piano. I didn't feel like eating anymore. My appetite was gone.

I pulled my phone out and went through my music, trying to see if there were any songs in there that I could play. A few caught my eye, but I finally settled on one. It was warm in the music room, so I took my leather jacket off and rolled up my sleeves. I put my phone in my backpack along with my jacket and ran my hands over the piano keys, taking a breath as I started to play and sing.

"Party girls don't get hurt

Can't feel anything, when will I learn

I push it down, push it down

I'm the one "for a good time call"

Phone's blowin' up, ringin' my doorbell

I feel the love, feel the love

1, 2, 3 1, 2, 3 drink