Assigned Partners

Chapter 18

Trigger warning: mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts

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So, Normani decided over text after her practice on Monday that she was going to come pick me up at around 7:30 for our Friday night date. I was really excited. I'd never been on an actual date before, so this was going to be new to me.

Friday rolled around, and I still had no idea what we were doing. I assumed that we were doing dinner, but I wasn't sure. Normani had told me to dress nice. Not fancy, but not overly casual either. I ended up picking out some black skinny jeans and a red, figure hugging shirt. Feeling a little self conscious, I loaded my arms up with bracelets to cover up the old and new cuts. I would normally just wear my leather jacket, but it was hot out and I didn't feel like heavily sweating. The bracelets were black and red, so at least they matched.

Taylor and Chris both had sleepovers that they were going to, so my parents took them there around six, and then they were taking the night to go spend some time together. They were going to some Mexican place that my dad loves, then they're heading to see some sappy movie my mom wants to see, and after that my dad told me he was planning on something special for them. I don't want to know what he had in mind, but they told me not to expect them home until late, maybe not even until morning.

I sat down in the living room, waiting for Normani. I checked my phone and it said it was 7:25. I've always been told that a watched pot never boils, and I figured the same thing goes for watching a door to wait for someone to show up, but that didn't stop me. I hummed to myself and switched between watching the door and playing Scrabble on my phone.

7:35 came, and she still hadn't shown up. I wasn't worried though, she was probably just running a bit late.

By 8:00, Normani was still a no-show.

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, and I frowned when I saw that the text wasn't from Normani.

Dinah: Hey, you doin alright Lauser?

Lauren: Sure, why wouldn't I be?

Dinah: I figured you must have heard by now..

Lauren: Heard what?

Dinah: About Austin and Mani.

My heartbeat quickened. This couldn't be good. What if he had hurt her? Tons of bad things were running through my head. Dinah sent me another text, and it had a picture attached. A picture of Normani and Austin.

A picture of Austin and Normani kissing.

I felt sick to my stomach. There she was, standing with him outside of a building. He had his hand on the back of her neck and her hands were sitting near his shoulders. It was unmistakably them. How could she do this to me? Was she using me all along?

Lauren: I.. oh my god..

Dinah: I tried to text her about it but she won't answer me.

Lauren: It's fine. I should have seen it coming.

Dinah read my text, but I didn't get another one back. I looked at the picture again before throwing my phone across the room. I could hear the screen break as it hit the wall, but I didn't care. I tucked my knees up to my chest, and wiped a tear that was sliding down my cheek.

I don't want to be here, I thought. The longer I'm around, the worse everything seems to be. It doesn't get better.

I was crushed. Absolutely devastated. I eventually heard a knock on the door, and I chose not to answer. I was a mess. My makeup was streaked down my face, my eyes were puffy. But the knocking just kept going. I forced myself up off the couch, and made my way over to the door, pulling it open. The minute I opened it, there were two pairs of arms around me, and I just broke down.

Ally and Dinah shuffled me back a little, enough so that Dinah could tap the door closed with her foot. I sobbed into the embrace, and Dinah ran her hand over my hair gently. Ally reached for one of my hands, squeezing it tightly. We stayed like that for several minutes before Ally suggested we go up to my room. I agreed, and locked the front door before leading them up to my room. We sat at the head of my bed, Ally on my left, Dinah on my right.

"Maybe it's not like what it seems," Ally said, and Dinah nodded.

"Yeah Lo, we don't know what happened," Dinah agreed.

"She won't answer your texts, Dinah, that's pretty fishy," I pointed out.

"She won't answer me either.." Ally admitted.

"See? It's got to mean something. I can't.. I can't believe she didn't show up for our date and then kissed Austin," I said, my voice breaking as I said Austin's name.

"You had a date set for tonight?"

"Yeah, Dinah. She was supposed to be here at 7:30, and she never showed up."

I could see Dinah's face flood with anger. Ally looked pretty pissed too, and it was definitely quite the sight to see from the girl who was practically more sunshiney than the sun itself.

"Has anyone talked to Mila? Maybe she knows what's going on," Ally suggested.

"Lemme try and reach her," Dinah said, pulling out her phone.

A few texts and a phone call later, there was no answer from Camila either. I wanted to cry again, but I tried to hold it in. What I really wanted to do was kick my friends out so I could drown my feeling in alcohol, and maybe see if that mixed with pills would do the trick this time.

"Let's put in a movie." I looked at Ally and nodded.

Hours later, we were finishing up Titanic. I was the only one still awake, or at least I was pretty sure I was. I found that funny, considering that this was Ally's pick and she was the first one to doze off.

My head was throbbing. I was pretty sure I was dehydrated. I hadn't had much to drink, and crying didn't help. I managed to slip out of bed and I walked to the bathroom. I didn't bother closing the door. The girls were sleeping and nobody else was home. I filled a cup with water and took some Advil, before glancing at the medicine cabinet.

Opening it, I stared at the items before me. Different pill bottles lined the shelves. I reached into a drawer under the counter, and pulled out the small box that held my blades. I picked up a pill bottle, and one of the blades from the box, turning them over in my hands slowly.

Maybe this has to be the answer, I thought, wiping my cheek as a new set of tears fell.

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a/n: I apologize for the wait. I didn't have much inspiration for a while there, but I'm getting it back. I'd say I hope you enjoyed this chapter but it was so sad I don't know how you could have. Normani will be back next chapter. Explanations for the Normaustin (ew) kiss are coming within the next chapter or two, don't worry. Have a lovely day, and again, I apologize that it took so long to update.