Catharsis ❀ Haechan

❀ 53

so, tell me when you're gonna let me in
i'm getting tired, and i need somewhere to begin

❀

"Hwayoung...I'm worried. Why won't you speak to me?" Donghyuck asked softly as he caressed her hands.

She was sitting on a bench, Donghyuck in front of her, kneeling down. Her hands were in his.

Even though she was right in front of him, she felt so far away. He couldn't get her to speak for the past hour. He was scared.

"Whatever it is Hwa, I love you and I'm here for you," he whispered, smiling up at her.
"Do you know?" she asked.
"Know what...? Is there something I should?" Donghyuck tucked her hair behind her ears.

He was so caring and loving at that moment that Hwayoung felt bad. She wasn't able to reciprocate it. Her heart wasn't in it.

"Nothing..." she shook her head, making his hand fall to his side. "I'm sorry."

Donghyuck didn't care that she was being so closed off. He just wanted to make sure she was okay.

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" he asked calmly. He wanted her to approach the subject first but she just shook her head.

She couldn't even hear him anymore. Her head hurt so much. It was pounding.

"Hwa..."
"Huh?" she flinched, being brought back to reality.

"We have to talk about us Hwa...but I can't unless you want to," he clutched her hands tightly. "Do you still believe in us? Is there a us?"

The words he were saying weren't processing in Hwayoungs mind. All she could hear was the sound of self loathing.

She felt so selfish for wanting to talk things out with Donghyuck while her grandmother was dead. She couldn't even muster up the courage to give him the answer he wanted.

"I-" her voice croaked. Hwayoung wanted to make things better. But why was her mind telling her she wasn't worth it? That she didn't deserve to have happiness?

She heard a sigh from the man. "Hyuck..." she slithered her hands away from his. "It's not a good time right now."

That was the only lame excuse she could come with these days. It was stupid.

Hwayoung wanted to take it back, but the hurt look inside his eyes made her want to stab herself in the heart.

"I get it Hwa...we'll talk when you're ready," Donghyuck stood up, putting his hands in his pocket. "I have to go to practice. Do you want me to drop you off at home?"

She shook her head.

"Okay then...I'm just one phone call away," he chuckled, leaning down to give her a peck. She stayed still as his lips touched hers. That hurt.

"Wait," Hwayoung shouted as he walked away. She couldn't just let him go. "Have you had dinner?"

It was the only dumb excuse she could create to see him more. She didn't even realize how much she missed him until she bumped into him again.

A smile rose up on Donghyucks face. "Nope, not yet."

❀

Even though she was the one to ask him out, she hadn't taken a single bite.

"Why don't you try mine instead?" Donghyuck suggested, switching his noodles for hers. "It's a new flavour."

Hwayoung found a small smile on her face from his acts. He still cared for her even if she was being such a stupid bipolar bitch.