GLOWING (Joel Miller)

17 | The Conversation

After sitting in silence for god-knows how long, I spoke up, not looking at Joel, but continuing to stare into the unyielding darkness. "So are you gonna leave us when we get to the Fireflies?"

I felt Joel shift beside me, but I didn't acknowledge it. I didn't really have much to say; I just wanted to hear his answer. He didn't speak... Not for a good five minutes at least. My heart sank ever-so-slightly. Why? I couldn't say.

"Do you know where the Fireflies are—in Colorado, I mean?"

I side-eyed him, warily. You didn't answer my question. I shook my head, glancing over at the lump on the ground that was Ellie. "Marlene said Boulder. But there can't be too many places for them to hide, right?"

Joel let out a sigh. "My brother is somewhere out in Wyoming." I raised an eyebrow at him. "He used to be a Firefly. He might know where their base is."

I nodded. "Okay." My hands subconsciously gripped each other as I started to pick at my nails nervously. "I guess that's our best option right now." I leaned back against the boxes behind us on the truck. "He anything like you?"

Joel chuckled slightly from beside me, easing my nervousness a bit, "Nah. He's younger, overly proud, never knows when to shut up..."

"Hmm," I mused. "You guys actually sound pretty similar."

"Shut up."

"What?" I turned towards him, leaning forward on my elbows. "Can't take a joke? Is Tommy like that too?"

"Well, I would already know if—" A grin spread onto my face and Joel rolled his eyes, shaking his head with a sigh. "Doesn't matter." His eyes flitted over to Ellie who was motionless. "Tell me about your sister."

I raised an eyebrow curiously. "My sister?" He nodded. "What about her?

Joel shrugged. "I dunno. Just—what was she like?"

"Umm..." I spent a few moments, trying to think of something I could tell him—something that wouldn't send me into a fit of tears like a baby. "She was thirteen when the outbreak happened." I glanced up at Joel to see him watching me intently. "She was really smart... and ambitious." I let out a small chuckle. "I was into writing but she wanted to be a lawyer... She would've been a great one too."

"She sounds pretty cool."

I sent Joel a soft smile, unsure of how to respond to his unlikely gentleness. It was so different to the rugged, emotionless exterior he normally presented. I kind of liked it.

"Yeah, she was." I felt a shiver run through me, so I drew my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. "She ended up going to FEDRA school. I guess I complained about it enough that she thought if she got high enough in the ranks she could actually make a difference." I could feel the tears starting to prick the corners of my eyes, but I bit the inside of my cheek refusing to let the spill in front of Joel. "She—um... She died a few months in. Got into a scuffle with some smugglers."

I didn't look up. I just focussed my gaze on the dark forest ahead of me, refusing to look up and let Joel see the single tear that was falling freely down my cheek. Luckily enough for me, it was on the side turned away from him.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded quickly. Of course I am. I'm a fucking Firefly! At least that's what I told myself as two more tears accompanied the first. "I'm fine."

I felt Joel move and involuntarily flinched when his hand gripped my arm. He gently pulled it towards him, causing my hands to detached themselves from each other. I kept my gaze downcast as he leaned forward to examine me. "No, you're not."