The Only Thing Stronger Than Hate (Minizerk)

Chapter 14

When I got back to the dorm, I sighed before opening the door, internally groaning.

Josh was sitting on his bed, scrolling through his phone. As soon as we made eye contact, it was awkward. Not on his part, on mine.

"Hey, hungover?" He laughed. His tone made me ease up a bit.

"Very, I felt like shit when I first woke up." I told him.

"You drank a hell of a lot. I wouldn't be surprised if you forgot half of it." He snickered.

"I can't lie. The last thing I remember is beer pong." I told him.

"Well, I highly doubt you'd believe me if I told you what happened after that." He laughed.

"Harry already told me." I admitted.

"Is that why you seem so uncomfortable?" He asked.

"I'm not uncomfortable." I lied.

"Yes, you are. And you asked me last night. What if this makes things awkward between us? Less than ten seconds later, you kissed me." He said matter of factly.

"I was the one who kissed you?" I asked, and he nodded. "Well, I was really drunk."

"You were, but I don't believe that was the entire reason. You've been shy around me ever since we had dinner and made up." He pointed out.

"Not to be a dick, Josh, but you're entirely biased." I said, getting frustrated.

"How am I biased, Simon?" He asked, standing up. His demeanour changed entirely.

"I know why you didn't want to talk about my relationships, why it made you so uncomfortable." I said quietly.

"Why is that?" He asked coldly.

"You know why, Josh. And I'm sorry if it hurts you, but what Harry and I had was none of your business." I said firmly.

"You and Harry? You dragged me to a party with you two, knowing how I felt about you? Are you joking?" He yelled.

"I didn't know until this morning! And for the record, we broke it off! He didn't want to be with me if it was gonna make you jealous because he didn't want to lose any friends!" I shouted back.

"It is not my fault that you two broke it off! Don't you dare put that on me. You could've told me last night that you were taken, and I wouldn't have fucking kissed you!"

"I wasn't taken! We weren't exclusive, and we were only sleeping with each other!"

"Then why the fuck do you care so much?!"

"I don't know!"

"I do. I know why you care. You're embarrassed about what happened between us. And because you know how I feel about you, you can't even look me in the fucking eye right now." He hissed.

"No! I can't! And of course I'm embarrassed! You know what happened last night, you remember every second of it, and I have no idea what we did! Or how far it went!" I yelled.

Josh grabbed my hips, pushing me against the wall, bringing his lips so close to mine that they were nearly brushing.

"Does the remind you?" He whispered, staring into my eyes. My heart was hammering.

"No." I said quietly.

"You feel embarrassed, Simon, but so do I." He said, stepping away from me. "Not only did we both actually enjoy last night, you don't even remember it. And now I'm sitting here like an idiot because you know how I feel about you, but what you don't know and don't remember is how I made you feel!"

"Josh, I don't have feelings for you. I highly doubt I felt anything last night." I said quietly.

"You did, and I know you did. Because I saw that look in your eyes, and I can't get it out of my head." He ran his hands through his hair.

"What look?" I frowned.

"The way you looked up at me like I was all you wanted, and everything you did leading up to that. The way you grabbed me like you needed me, how you initiated it, and the sound you made the second that timer went off and we stopped." He exasperated. "You're making me feel crazy right now. You can't remember any of it, so it's like it didn't happen in your mind. Well, it did happen, and I can't get it out of mine!"

"I initiated it..?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah, you did. But I'm not gonna waste any more time on this. You've already rejected me, I'm done with this argument. This whole thing has already hurt me enough. You and I? Our friendship? It's done. We might have to live together, but we don't have to talk." He slammed the door behind him as he left.