Exchange (Soukoku & Shin Soukoku)

8- The Reconciliation

"Shit, that son of a bitch stained my shirt."

Chuuya and Dazai were walking leisurely down the street, as if they hadn't just tortured and murdered an Arab drug dealer in a tiny apartment.

"Chuuya, can we talk?"

"Where did you say Kunikida was?"

Not wanting to play that game, Osamu stopped him, putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Get of from me," the redhead ordered.

"No. We have to talk" The brown-haired man refused, firmly grasping him partner.

"What if I don't want to talk to you?!" Chuuya exclaimed irritably.

"Well, I have no intention of releasing you until we resolve this issue, Chuuya."

Nakahara's blue eyes brimmed with anger, and sadness. He took a deep breath and held his partner's gaze.

"You have two minutes to convince me, Dazai. If you don't make it in that time, I'll ask you for a divorce, and the next time I see you, I'll kill you."

Chuuya isn't the kind of person to throw threats so lightly, so Osamu was left with no choice but to abide by his terms. He released Nakahara's arm and knelt in front of him, pressing his forehead to the ground.

"I'm so sorry, Chuuya," he began. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I proposed to you with a fake ring because I didn't have the money for a real one, you know that."

"I didn't want a fucking ring, Dazai."

"I know. And I know that, then, this excuse will seem the most stupid to you. But I felt that you deserved a gold ring. I wanted to give it to you. Being incapable of it, I faked it. But I wanted to give you the real one."

"I don't need a ring, Dazai. I didn't want it. I wanted your sincerity."

"I know, and I know that I've behaved like shit with you, and I've lied, and I've insulted you, and I'm really sorry, Chuuya. I am surely the worst husband in the world."

Chuuya raised an eyebrow.

"But...?"

Dazai sighed.

"But I love you. I LOVE YOU with capital letters, Chuuya. I know that I have always told you that you are human, but I think that in reality it is you who reminds me that I am human too. I lied to you because I wanted to avoid exactly this; I didn't want you to think that you're not worth enough to give you a royal ring, because you absolutly are, Chuuya. The one who doesn't deserve it is me. I am a wretch, a wreck, a waste, I am unworthy of being human, but for you I would be anything. You make me happy, you make me... Truly human. I am cursed, Chuu, and you are both the disease and the cure. I love you, and I love you madly, and I swear I don't want to lose you, because you are my reason for living."

Silence. Nakahara watched him without saying a word. Dazai finally looked up and asked:

"Did I go over two minutes?"

Chuuya continued without saying anything.

"I want you to know that if you're going to leave me, I'd be delighted to have you take my life."

Unable to take it anymore, the redhead began to cry and bent down to hug his spouse.

"You're an Idiot!" He recriminated him crying on his shoulder. "Shit, Osamu, I love you, I love you so much."

"And I love you, Chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuya," the brown-haired man whispered. "And I missed you a lot."

"And I missed you too".