This Love: A Frank Adler Story

Eight

I went to sit down on the couch with frank. He sighed and looked at me.

I brought my legs up to cross on the couch.

Frank never wanted to date me because he felt guilty about the fact that we weren't there for Diane when she died.

"She isn't wrong Frank."

"Yeah I know she's not. I wish she was."

"That's great." I said, a bit annoyed.

"Look. If we haven't even dated, why would we get married?"

"Because. Because I- you..umm....because what if I fuck up?"

"When will you? You're a great husband type personality when you don't think about it."

"Avery."

"I have raised a child with you. I have lived with you for seven years and you have never truly loved me like I want. But I'm here for Mary even though your relationship with me should make me leave."

"Why would it make you leave?"

"Because you use me for sex and comfort, but you refuse to marry me. Frank I would love to have your children and have a family. But you just... fuck it's like you hate me but you want my body and just having someone here and-"

"You know none of that is true."

"Really? You know I don't want a family?"

"Not that god. The whole me hating you. You know I adore you and- I want you to just bare with me."

"Why?"

"Because I have been thinking about marrying you for a very long time."

"Then why don't we?"

"I told you. What if I fuck up?"

"That's a part of marriage. People make mistakes. It's not supposed to be perfect."

He sighed and looked away. I rolled my eyes.

"I have wanted to marry you for years. I just- I can't risk somehow losing you from it."

I sighed and looked down at my hands.

"I'm pretty sure that unless you did something unimaginable, I wouldn't leave you."

"Oh god I can't take it. I have a ring for you and I- I've had it since Mary was two. I've just been waiting...."

I felt my breathing hitch. "Frank.."

"Ave I love you. I'm sorry."

"I don't get it. I've been with you for seven years. I have loved you long beyond that and you know it. Why didn't you just ask me to marry you? Hell we could get married in a courthouse tomorrow and I'd be happy."

"I know."

"Do you? Do you actually know?"

"Jesus Avery. I'm sorry."

"Whatever. I have a shift soon. I'll be back later tonight."

"Avery wait."

"I'm tired of waiting Frank."

"But..."

"Look. Mary isn't my child. She's not even my family. I have put you both before myself with every single thing. You don't even make things official with me, yet I make sure that the bills are paid and that Mary has a little bit of happiness. I make sure she doesn't worry about money. God Frank you have a fucking masters degree and yet you make little money and work on boats. I have been just waiting. I sit here and put you two before anything else!"

"Auntie?" I heard. I looked over, seeing Mary standing in the doorway.

"What?"

"We're not family?" She asked, looking at me.

"That's not what I meant." I said. Frank gave me a look.

"Really?" Frank asked.

"God shut the fuck up!"

It was silent in the room now. I sighed.

"I need to go to work." I whispered. I went into the bedroom to grab my scrubs and tried not to cry.

I heard the door open. I was in my pants and a sports bra. I was putting my hair half up.

Mary came over and looked at me. I couldn't look at her. I felt so bad that she heard that.

"Auntie."

"Yeah babe," I whispered.

"I still think of you as family even if you don't feel the same."

I felt a lump close up my throat. I started crying right after she said that. I set my hands on my dresser as I cried. Mary hugged my legs. I picked her up and hugged her.

"I didn't mean it." I whispered. "I'm just frustrated."

Mary just hugged me tighter. I sat down on the bed as I continued to hug her. I set my head on her shoulder.

She pet my head softly. I pulled away and looked at her.

"I promise you I didn't mean it. I'm so sorry."

"I know you're mad at uncle Frank. He's a meanie head. You deserve full love. And I'm happy that you help me with everything." She said as she rubbed my cheeks. I smiled sadly.

I heard the door open. Frank looked at me. I made eye contact with him. He looked upset.

Mary looked over.

"You're a shithead." She said.

"Mary! No!" I said. Frank just shook his head.

"Avery go to work. Mary, don't back talk anymore."

"But..." Mary started. I shook my head and set her down. I grabbed my shirt and threw it on before grabbing my stuff and leaving.