Shadow Souls

Chapter Thirty-Five

After an amazing dinner, I say goodbye to Finn's parents, and thank them once again. I then hug his sister goodbye, praising her stellar baking skills for the hundredth time that evening, and after promising to come back again soon, Finn walks me home.

"So, did you have an okay time?" he asks nervously.

"I had a better than okay time," I assure him. "Your family is amazing, Finn."

"They really like you too you know," he smiles at me.

Having dinner with the Sawyer's made feel a wave of emotions that I wasn't expecting. Watching the way, the four of them laugh with each other, and love each other, made me long for the family I never got to have. Also knowing that just this morning Zoey was lying in a hospital bed made me want to cry for their terrible situation. It's not fair.

As we continue towards my house, I move closer to Finn's side and once again notice a difference in his smell. Like yesterday, he doesn't smell like an ashtray. "Did you quit smoking?"

"Can't quit what you've never started," he informs me.

"But I've seen you and your friends. I've smelled it on you before."

"That's all them," he tells me. "I don't actually touch the stuff myself."

I must admit, I didn't see that coming. I remember Paige even telling me our first day together at Dot's, that Finn was a smoker. I guess everybody just assumed he smoked, since he was always around people who did and had a bad boy reputation. It makes me wonder what other things the rumor mill got wrong about him.

"So, why did you stop hanging out with them anyway?" I ask him.

"Who says I did?" he counters, stopping us in front of my house.

"Your lack of cigarette smell is a bit of a giveaway."

"Maybe I've just had more important people to spend my time with lately," he says.

At first, I think he means Zoey, but then he leans down to kiss me, and the message he is trying to make becomes crystal clear. I wrap my hands around his neck and pull him down even closer to me to deepen the kiss. He starts off slow and gentle, but it quickly becomes rougher. His lips begin to move with more urgency, and I am more than happy to match.

I start to lead us backwards towards the door, reaching behind me for the handle, then I walk us into the house, and he kicks the door closed with his foot. I pull his jacket off his shoulders and let it fall onto the floor, then work to shrug out of mine too. Pulling back to look at him, I allow myself one last chance to change my mind, before I reach down for his hand, and begin to slowly lead him up the stairs.

When we reach my bedroom, his mouth is instantly on mine again. I kick off my shoes and reach down for the hem of his shirt to quickly lift it over his head, only breaking away from him long enough to remove it. He grabs for my shirt next, and pulls it off letting in fall to the floor leaving me in just my bra. He takes in the view for a moment, before slowly guiding me back until my legs hit the bed, and then carefully lowers me down onto the blankets.

Once I'm lying on the bed, he leans down to run his lips over every inch of exposed skin on my chest, causing my breath to become ragged. I shiver as I feel his right hand slide up the length of my side and reach around behind my back. He swiftly undoes the clasp on my bra, and pulls it away from my body, tossing it aside. Now, laying exposed before him, I keep waiting to feel anxious or self-conscious, but it never comes. All I can feel is bliss.

He lifts me higher up on the mattress, then stands back up to step out of his shoes, all the while never taking his eyes off me. When he finishes, he undoes his jeans next, letting them fall to the floor and I am left with the sight of Finn Sawyer in nothing but his underwear. He is absolute perfection.

He crawls back on top of me, leaving a trail of kisses starting at my stomach all the way up to my mouth. I keep waiting for him to reach for the button of my jeans too, but he never does, and I'm a little disappointed when he never tries to take it any farther. Only continuing to kiss me.

And once our lips are beautifully swollen, and our kisses begin to slow, he rolls off me, pulling my body with him so that we are now facing each other.

"Is something wrong?"

"Not even close," he smiles. "I just don't want you think we have to rush things."

"Do you not want to."

"Trust me, I very much want to, but I'm trying to contain myself."

"What if I don't want you to contain yourself?"

"Don't tempt me woman," he smile. "It's just that I don't, I mean I didn't think--"

"Think what? Spit it out."

"I was kind of under the impression that you haven't done that before."

"Oh," I say, "Well, your impression would be accurate."

"Which is why I think we should go slower. I don't want you to have any regrets."

He kisses me softer this time and when I start to shiver, Finn reaches to the floor and grabs his shirt for me to put on. I pull it over my head, and then feeling bold, reach down under the blanket to remove my jeans myself and toss them to the floor before he pulls me back into his arms again.

As I lay curled up in his arms, feeling completely content I begin to replay the events of night and how I can't imagine anything ever feeling better than this moment right now.

And before I know it, I am drifting off to sleep.