Shadow Souls

Chapter Forty-Five

I wake up feeling terrified, and look over to check that Finn is safe, and still asleep next to me. I sigh in relief as I will my heartbeat back to a normal pace. This is the first time I have had a nightmare while sleeping next to him. I'm not sure what it all means, but it's probably nothing good.

I climb out of bed and start to get dressed as quietly as I can, but when I start looking for my always missing shoes, I hear him begin to stir. Moving as slowly as possible I finally find them under my desk and quickly slip them onto my feet. I sneak a glance back towards the bed and see Finn awake and looking at me with that trademark smile of his that always makes my heart flutter. And this time also break.

He registers the look on my face, and his smile instantly falls. "You can't be serious! How could you still want to break up after last night?" he cries out. "I thought that was us moving forward in our relationship not ending it."

"I'm sorry Finn, but I haven't changed my mind about anything."

"I can't believe this!"

He flings the blanket off his body and sits up. I advert my eyes so the sight of him without his clothes won't make me lose my determination. A repeat of last night is not an option if I want to keep him safe.

"I'm sorry, but you shouldn't have just assumed things would be different," I say.

"Oh! Excuse me for thinking that us sleeping together, and you telling me you love me, meant that you actually wanted to be with me," he spits the words at me while he reaches for his pants on the floor.

"Well, maybe I made a mistake."

"With which part? The sleeping together, or saying you love me?"

"Both," I answer so quietly I'm not sure he hears it at first.

"You're lying."

"No, I am not," I tell him. And then I say the words I know will hurt him, and me, the most, "I don't love you."

He looks at me like I just reached into his chest and pulled out his still beating heart with my bare hands.

"Wow. You know, for someone who was so concerned about me being a whore, it's kind of ironic that you ended up being one instead."

His words hit me like a slap across the face. I can't believe he just said that to me. I can't say I don't deserve it, but to hear him actually say something so mean is still a shock.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I didn't mean that," his voice quakes. "That was way too harsh, and you never deserve to be spoken to like that." He reaches out his hand to me.

And I make a run for it.

"Alice!" he shouts after me as I run down the stairs, and out the front door as fast as I can, grabbing my keys on the way. Hoping his lack of clothing will allow me enough of a head start, I jump in the truck locking the doors behind me. By the time I start the engine, Finn is already there banging on the window and pulling on the handle.

"Please don't go. I'm so sorry!" he pleads.

I throw the truck in reverse, fighting the urge to look at him, and back down the driveway. Then switching gears, I take off down the road, watching in the rearview mirror as he chases me down the street barefoot and shirtless.