Love is Blind: a Jouno and Tetchou story

We all know he has a crush on Chuuya

"That was a good movie." Tetchou said, with way more enthusiasm than Jouno felt. It was apparently time for lunch at that cafe Teruko liked. Teruko had designed a pretty tight schedule, so they'd have to take a bus if they wanted to get there. This amused Jouno, because he'd get priority seating, while Tetchou would most likely get lost in the crowd. Jouno was snapped out of this imagining by a few familiar sets of footsteps, heartbeats and voices.

"Is this just our luck, or is this Teruko's doing?" Jouno asked as Chuuya, Tachihara and Dazai rounded the corner. While Jouno tried valiantly to avoid them by dematerializing and reappearing on the other side of the room, Tetchou  started waving. "Hey!" He called out. Jouno crossed the room again. "What are you doing?" He asked. Tachihara was undercover. Acting friendly with him while two of the port mafia were there was not part of the plan.

"Jouno, you remember Chuuya, right?" Tetchou said, with a steely edge to his voice. Ah. So he had thought this through, at least slightly. Jouno could hear Tachihara's heart beating like a jackhammer though. "Remember Chuuya?" Jouno asked. "How could I forget?"

One of Jouno's first missions with the hunting dogs had been to try and arrest the world's greatest assassins, Paul Verlaine and Arthur Rimbaud. It all sort of went to hell when the facility they were attacking turned out to be a lab, with one survivor of a brutal experiment. The hunting dogs, Teruko in particular, had tried to train Chuuya when he was about twelve.

However, this hadn't exactly ended very well. He'd run away before a couple of months had passed, and was taken in by the Sheep before finding himself in the port mafia. Jouno wasn't really sure Tetchou  should be all that friendly with Chuuya either, but he'd already said hello at this point, so the damage was done.

Chuuya seemed to be scrutinizing Jouno. "You changed your hair." He finally said. That was one of the things Jouno remembered about Chuuya. He was lacking in many social graces, and could be incredibly blunt. Jouno tried to think what color his hair had been back then. He had purple streaks now. "It used to be blue." Chuuya supplied. The fact that he could remember a small detail like that was a bit unnerving. Then again, it was no more alarming than his methodical heartbeat, so evenly paced it barely sounded human.

"I didn't know you had any old friends." Dazai said, and Jouno could practically hear the smirk. Not much was known about Osamu Dazai, but what Jouno knew, he didn't like. Anyone who could rise in a group of organized criminals so quickly was someone to watch out for. "Yeah. I don't really. The nice one is Tetchou. The other one is Jouno." That was about as good an introduction as Jouno was going to get.

Dazai took a step forward. Everything about him made Jouno uneasy. His heartbeat had remained on the same wavelength this whole time. Could he control it or something? He didn't seem to bother Tetchou that much though. "Nice to meet you." Dazai said, in a way that didn't imply he thought it was nice at all.

"What are you guys doing here?" Chuuya asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He seemed to just remember that Jouno and Tetchou were part of the hunting dogs, and Chuuya and his new friends were with the port mafia. If Jouno didn't play this right, there was going to be a fight. Maybe he should get into a fight. It would certainly mess up Teruko's plans.

"We went to see the latest superhero movie." Tetchou said. "It was good. I was sad the sidekick died in the end though." Chuuya let out a small, angry hissing noise. "You are the worst." Chuuya said. "This guy can't keep a secret to save his life." Oh, Tachihara's heart was thumping. "Whoops." Tetchou  said. "Sorry. Spoiler alert I guess."

Chuuya shook his head. "I'd say it's nice to see you again, but I don't think it is, and I don't trust that you're just here seeing a movie. I hope we don't run into each other again. Have a nice date." Chuuya started to walk off in the other direction. "I'm going to get some popcorn. Does anybody want any?" Tachihara asked. Dazai nodded enthusiastically, and he hurried off. When Dazai and Chuuya were out of sight, Tachihara doubled back to Jouno and Tetchou.

"What are you guys doing here?" Tachihara asked. "We're not supposed to meet when I'm undercover." Jouno knew this. Apparently, Teruko either didn't, or didn't care. "Teruko arranged a date for us." Jouno said with about as much enthusiasm as he felt. "Ah." Tachihara said, as if Jouno's one statement explained the entire predicament. Tetchou stayed suspiciously quiet the whole time.

"I should ask you the same, now that I'm here though." Jouno said, full hunting dogs mode. "What do you mean?" Tachihara asked, clearly confused. "Chuuya. Dazai. Why are you watching a movie with two high ranking members of the port mafia?" Tachihara played with his hair, and tried to come up with some kind of response to that.

Jouno sighed. "Let me guess. You have a crush on Chuuya. I'm not sure what it is about that particular combination of terrible personality and lack of height, but Chuuya gets more guys than some protagonists of Shoujo manga. You're the latest one to fall under Chuuya's spell, so you asked him out to go see this movie with you. Chuuya doesn't think it's a date, though, because you're 'just friends'

Dazai, who also likes Chuuya, hears about this and is smart enough to know you mean it as a date. He doesn't like the idea of Chuuya going off alone with another guy, because he strikes me as the possessive type, and he invites himself along, and sort of makes you the third wheel. I'm sure he'll be holding Chuuya's hand throughout the movie. Probably smirking at you the whole time, trying to rub it in, right? I know the type."

What Jouno didn't mention was that he was the type. If there was ever a guy he liked that someone else developed an attraction to, he'd totally make a show out of the romantics. Tachihara made a noise that was somewhere between "agh" and "gah."

Tetchou poked Jouno in the ribs with the edge of his sword. "Hey!" Jouno exclaimed. "What was that for?" He asked, thoroughly annoyed. "We all know he has a crush on Chuuya." Tetchou said. "You don't need to say it out loud." Jouno didn't point out that Tetchou's voice was much louder than his own.

"Because this is pathetic enough I almost feel bad for you, and because you're on my team so I've kinda automatically got to help you, let me give you some advice. When Chuuya was part of the hunting dogs a few years ago, Tetchou and I took him to see the first Thor movie. Chuuya's notebook was full of Heimdall and Loki fanart for the next few weeks. Say Heimdalloki is your favourite superhero ship, and you might score some points with him."

Tetchou crossed his arms. "The official ship name is Hoki." Jouno frowned. "That's terrible. Who comes up with these things anyway?" Tetchou looped his arm though Jouno's, and started to lead him towards the door. "Good luck, okay Tachihara." Tetchou said. "Tell me how it goes." Jouno wanted to know too, mostly so he could laugh at the new recruit. "We have to continue our date." Jouno sighed. "Did you have to announce that to the whole theater?"

*

A few minutes later, Tachihara sat down beside Chuuya. As Jouno predicted, Dazai was indeed making a show out of holding Chuuya's hand, and leveled a huge smirk at Tachihara when he sat down. Tachihara handed Chuuya a bucket of popcorn that he wouldn't be able to eat all of, but would look impressive. He deliberately didn't get any for Dazai. "Thanks." Chuuya said. "That was nice you got one we could all share." That wasn't really Tachihara's intention, but he'd take it. As the previews played, Tachihara mustered up his courage and followed Jouno's advice. "So, Heimdalloki, am I right?"