my moon

Things happen

I've met a lot of people. I've had many crushes. But nothing prepared me for the heartbreaks my loving was gonna give me.

My parents, sibling, cousins, family, crushes, the two people I've loved and the friends that left.

All ended in heartbreaks.

Shattering my heart again and again. Till I was about to believe that love doesn't exist. That it's just an imagination or a blessing that only the greatest recieve.

As cringe as it sounds, even in today's era, yes, I believe in love. I believe it's beautiful and amazing.

I've had many experiences with love. Now don't get me wrong. I'm talking about some ex. I've loved two souls that I could never have.

Still I tried.

But in the end I realised they will never actually love me. I didn't get rejected, but I started to see.

Once again it ended in heartbreaks.

Which leaves me to wonder....

What makes this different?

He came in my life in the most unexpected way. Within hours he made me feel special and I ended up falling in love with him.

It was back in September 2022. We met on a discord server. I'll explain more later on.

So, somehow the same thing that happened with me happened with him too. He loved me back.

Though, of course, at first, we decided to fight it and act like we were just playing around with flirting. But within two days, we knew what we wanted. We began a relationship.

Another fight began. This time fighting the urge to say "I love you" instead of "I like you", that again didn't last long of course. And there we were saying it every chance we get.

This was not my first relationship. I've dated people, mostly because of peer pressure, but I have. And for me, if the person is not even doing the bare minimum I lose interest within a week.

Thinking back to it, it was never any genuine interest, I was just so lost with the need of blending in, I did what everyone else around me was doing, getting in a relationship cuz they told me it's a good person. It was just an attraction, not even a crush.

Back to the point, as I said, it takes barely one week for me to lose interest in anyone. The only two people I've ever loved, are the only ones that lasted in my mind for months. I thought it would be the same.

I was just expecting the bare minimum. I mean what do you expect? People can't even do that nowadays. And even that is a high expectations to have.

But this guy.

Oh he means fucking everything  to me.

He gave me everything. He gave me his all. Not even one flaw I could find. I was quite certain he's hiding something. It all was just going so fast.

Going fast for you too?

Let's rewind a bit shall we?