Lessons

People can't love (more importantly, I can't)

TW: PTSD, spiral, mentioned physical and verbal abuse,
Please let me know if I missed any

Tommy apparently was having friends over. Phil warned him during breakfast, and Wilbur only said they were chaotic and it was fully alright if he wanted to lock himself in his room for the day.

So he did.

He organized his whole room, did a bunch of decorating with the stuff he was given, and put away all his things, given to him and brought.

And that only took a few hours, he was done before lunch.

So he read.

Yeah, reading the same book over and over was boring, he went over and knocked on Wilbur's door, he'd probably have books, but he didn't answer the door.

He walked downstairs to see Phil reading a paper from the bar.

"Do you- sorry, do you know where Wilbur is?"

"He got roped into one of the boys' games, what do you need mate?"

Techno hesitated, debating his options. He trusted Wilbur more, but he had just as much of a possibility of betraying him as Phil did.

Would Phil be angry if he asked?

What would he do to him?

Why can't they just be mean off the bat?

Why must they make it harder for him?

At some point Phil moved from the bar to standing nearer to him, and Techno backed up.

Their word means nothing, promises are nothing, trust isn't possible to achieve.

"Techno?"

Fill the gap, fill the gap, fill the gap

"Do you have any books?" It was really rushed and rude, and Techno immediately went straight into apologies. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry."

Phil cupped the younger's face in his hands. "Why are you sorry?" It was a sad tone of voice, much unlike the sharp tone of people mocking him for his mistakes.

"W-well, I was talking outta turn, an' it was r-rushed and rude, and I'm prepared t-to accept any- any punishment that is to be delt. I hope to make up for my mistakes." He stuttered through it, but it was a speech he had said hundreds of times over.

He closed his eyes, letting his head fall as Phil's hands slackened. "Oh- oh no, no buddy." It was in a tone the boy couldn't decipher.

Here it came. He closed his eyes, preparing for something, maybe a beating, or some yelling. He would lose another family, again to his own mistakes.

What he didn't expect was Phil to pull him into a hug. To wrap his arms around the frail boy and whisper in his ear.

He tensed up immediately, kindness wasn't free to take. But what Phil muttered wasn't threats. Whispered I'm sorry's and my sweet child and no punishments.

Techno stood stiffly, he trusted Wilbur, so it wouldn't hurt anymore to trust, or at least try to trust, Phil.

It hurt, to try and open his mind to trust, and love, and other things like that. Because he also had to acknowledge why he hated it, why he couldn't trust, and love, and feel loved.

His mind was a Pandora's box of shit he's gone through, and trauma, best left closed.

Phil smiled at him, "Now how about we find some books."

Lesson 16: love the younger ones, it may be the only love they ever get.

Techno always loved taking care of the younger ones. It was a way to cope with his ever growing anxieties and give the younger ones a chance at adoption.

He always liked helping out Niki with the toddlers, maybe not the babies, but the tots were always fun. No one really bothered him about it, he was just there, always a presence who laughed and played and gave the little ones piggy back rides.

Those were the golden days, the days where he didn't live in perpetual fear of breathing too loudly, and when the dark parts of his mind could be ignored.

He would help throw dance parties, and little things to bring the smaller kids joy. A lot of them got adopted young, and watching them grow up was almost never something he could do.

And for that he was happy. Because when he was younger, adoption meant love, and family, trust and forever.

It didn't anymore, but it did to them.

___________________________

Procrastination, lack of motivation, whatever you call it.

Oh well, I didn't know how to go about writing this chapter without throwing Techno into the deep end. So I didn't, I completely rewrote the chapter.

Have a great day/night my friends!

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙