So on 4-20-12, my school had what they call "Flex Days". If you had a good attendance record and passed your state tests from the previous year, you could skip that Friday. Well I had to go to school. So I took my regular psychiatric medicine for my depression, a Vivarin to keep me awake, and 6 Adderall 30 mg XR. The Vivarin was in my pill bowl. I realized, oh shit, you're not supposed to take Vivarin with Adderall. I felt stupid.
I ran to the bus stop and got on the bus. I sat with my old best friend, Angel. I started to get a headache. I slept, Angel woke me up.
When I got to school I told Charles. He told me that Adderall has speed in it, a different form. It makes you concentrate. We went up to the nurse, I told her I just had a headache, nothing about what I took, and said that it would go away.
So, she gave me an ice pack. The school bell rang and I had a teacher I did not like. I was failing Biology. That class is so boring I do nothing, but sleep in 5th period. Screw that. I sat next to my best friend, Hollie, and my head was starting to feel bigger and bigger. It wasn't a headache, or a migraine. My head felt bigger than the world, really heavy. I wasn't sleepy either, It was similar to a balloon, the higher it went the more pressure came. I laid my head down on the desk. It felt uncomfortable any way I laid my head. I started to squeeze my head and cry. Hollie, my best friend asked me "Bri' are you okay? Your face is turning colors!" I said "No." I was in tears. I told her what I took.
This teacher, I always make an excuse to get out of class to go to the nurse, during the last two Flex Days, and the ones back in February as well. Hollie had convinced me to ask her, and the teacher had actually recognized I didn't look good. She said "You actually don't look so good. Just bring me a pass coming back." I left my stuff in the classroom. I go to the nurse and she's in Officer Wedels' office. I know the school officer and haha, let's just say she knows me pretty well. I walk into the the office stand in the middle, the nurse was in Officer Wedels' Office. They looked at me and I said "I don't feel good, it's my head, it hurts bad." I kept pausing in that sentence. It was hard to talk it hurt so bad.
Nurse Camp said "You know your Mom won't come and pick you up, she's at work." I walk out, then I walk back in the office two seconds later, I turn around walk back in. I get on my knees and start crying and I said "I can't FUCKING stand the pain! IT HURTS!" She has a hard time believing me, I have played prank with fake blood capsules, fake blood bottles I made nose bleeds, all kinds of stuff. I don't blame her. I used to skip classes sleep in her office, I am allergic to Adderall, well not allergic it makes me hallucinate bad. I start to kneel down I am so dizzy. She comes and helps me up, takes me to the office, she checks my temperature, I almost fall when she's checking it. Officer Wedel was behind me. My temperature was normal. Then I lay down she checks my blood pressure it was 200/102. She said "That can't be right." She walks out of the office, tells Officer Wedel, then gets another blood pressure machine, it's the same. She calls Officer Wedel over there again. Nurse Camp talks to her. Officer Wedel has my Mom on the phone. She hands it to Nurse Camp, she tells my Mom the situation. She hands me the phone. My Mom was yelling "What did you take?"
I know that voice. I thought to myself. Just fucking take me, God, fuck it. I hope I fucking die. I said "My medication." I didn't want a ticket. Officer Wedel was a family friend, but I had been causing a lot of drama. I was in fights, went to juevie, constantly in In School Suspension. Se was constantly calling my Mom telling her I was high. She was constantly Saving my ass. She got me to talk; they were talking about calling an ambulance, I said "A Vivarin and a Adderall." My Mom knows it was a lie. She asked how much Adderall? I started to cry even harder on the phone "Just one to concentrate in school." She yelled "Bullshit!" The nurse had to use two more different blood pressure machines and they came out the same. Finally Officer Wedel said "Should I call the ambulance?" She said "Yes."
The nurse came and sat by me and she tried a different approach, and said nice, calm, and sweet, "Bri' it's important that we know what you took so we can get you help when the get ambulance gets here." I started crying even worse. I said "An ambulance? NO! My Mom is going to kill me. I am not going, I am fine, I can go back to class!" I stand up walk a step and almost fall forward, I was so dizzy. Nurse Camp grabs me. "Bri, we know you took something more than what you said. We need to know so we need to know for the ambulance, Bri'. Aren't you allergic to Adderall? Doesn't it make you hallucinate?" I replied "Yes it does!" She was concerned and wondered "Are you hallucinating now?" I snapped "NO! I am not, I am in so much pain!" I am crying so hard squeezing my head." They hand me the phone again. It was my Mom. She told me to tell or I am going to die from an overdose. She would be planning a funeral later. She wasn't crying either. She was straightforward. My mom wasn't being hurtful either, that's how my Mom raised me, and how it usually got me to talk. I gave in, I realized I didn't want to die for the first time in my life, "Fine! I took 6 Adderall 30 mg XR, with a Vivarin, I didn't mean to take the Vivarin with it." She told the what I took to Officer Wedel. She was writing it all down.
The ambulance arrived with the stretcher and it got a little blurry from there. I tried to run out the door, the gym teacher, Coach Brown and one of the coaches, Coach Underwood blocks me, turns me around. I remember seeing all the teachers in the main office watching me, as I'm on the stretcher. Everybody knows my name in the district from pre-k to seniors. I was embarrassed. When I was arrested, by Officer Wedel, to teach me a lesson, the whole school district knew. I remember, Officer Wedle, she wanted to follow. She's a family friend. They said she couldn't follow. I remember on the ambulance ride, holding my head, screaming, yelling, and it got so much more worse. I kept thinking I'm going to be the one in a body bag zipped up. I for the first tome while squeezing my head and cringing in pain start to think and talk to "God." I said to him "God if you really are there for me, you've never answered my other prayers, any time i actually needed help, but let me make it through this, I don't want to die, I will quit drugs. I won't be suicidal anymore. I want and love my family let me live please." The lady on the ambulance, kept asking me questions. I turned over and I yelled at her. I yelled at her to "Leave me the fuck alone. I am in fucking pain! Don't you see?" I kept saying it hurts, it hurts, when will it stop, We arrived to the closest hospital, it was "Mansfield Methodist" and I remember going in and out of unconsciousness.
