So I went to Meridell Achievement Center.
My friend was there too, from where I live. From Sundance. I know him. We went in together, we went to outpatient together, back in together, I left, I guess he got sent to Meridell he was there 6 months. I have had things happen, to me I don't think anybody who just turned 17, literally has seen. I had a long admission. I got settled in my building I liked it they performed some brain waves tests for ADHD. Then some memory tests. I had faded out of my ADHD, from when I was a born until I was a pre-teenager. I do have memory issues, but not extreme. I didn't have an impulsivity wave, like the other girls in my unit did. They did epilepsy tests too.
I will say the girls were sweethearts. I really got to know them and connect with them. We had gym, swimming time, a store, all kinds.of awesome lunches I was happy.
I started getting home sick after my first visitation with my Mom and at the time was her boyfriend. I started trying to run when going to the cafeteria on campus. When I did that they kept me on the unit. I felt even more worse. I started to run off, I was beings man-handled, I wouldn't let anybody through the locked doors. They would call the big guys to come get me. They tried to give me a shot, I volunteered for the pill version instead. I got into fights with a few of my closest "friends" while i was there. After they gave me the results to my mentality/memorization test, they transferred me to a different unit.
I was sane for my first few days at this unit it was way different than the other one, more uptight. It wasn't all relaxation. We had groups constantly. We had certain times for everything. Two girls were talking about asking me out and dating me. I got blamed for being in it. I didn't know! I had a boyfriend at the time! They put us on freeze and made us write process papers and do process work, through our feelings. What feelings? I had as much feelings for these two girls as I do for a piece of toilet paper. I got off freeze, I got in trouble for talking to an African American girl in the swimming pool about her culture, and she was happy to talk about it, I asked her before I even asked if it was okay, she was happy with talking to me about stuff.
I asked her "What's the difference between weaves and hair extensions?" "Why do African Americans use lotion so much?" She as well asked me some questions about my culture and how I live. She didn't get into trouble.
I tried to commit suicide in the hospital. I took the shoe strings off my Osiris skate shoes and tied it around my throat, curled into a ball, when they asked for backup. They forced me open, and five guys were holding me down. I work out, the big guys weren't there that early in the morning they had to call several guys. A random shock of pain was in my hip, my butt. I screamed, but I could feel the fluids go to my butt. I had my first "booty juice" shot. It was only 9:00 a.m. It was a 100mg Thorazine shot. Later that day after I woke up from sleeping I attempted again with the strings on my pajama pants. I was sitting in the seclusion room with the door open, and that's when I wrapped it around my neck. No security cameras on this unit I side the seclusion rooms. They were coming in a few minutes to check on me. Then I was held down by Mr. Craig. He's a very large man. They gave me another shot in the same spot almost. I called for that one. I was just attention seeking. I was being immature. I ate dinner, went to that room, and I was out for almost two days. I was so warm and comfortable in the seclusion room, sleeping on a jail bed mattress. Not very big.
I distanced myself away from people, the world. I couldn't have my sweater, anything long sleeved, shoes. Only Sandals, and short sleeved. I finally got put on a bunch of new medicine. I am on 16 1/2 pills. I started taking my treatment seriously, towards the end, I got my help. I did my DBT therapy. I was cut off 3 months early, my insurance didn't see any change in my behavior up until that last week 1/2. I had finally got the medicine I needed, I was away from home from 4/20/12 until 7/7/12 I was released 7/6/12.
