Ten Things I Hate About Mitsuhide

Chapter 1: Cat in a Thunderstorm

"Good Lord, how bright and goodly shines the moon!" - Petruchio.

"The moon! The sun; it is not moonlight now." - Katherina.

"I say it is the moon that shines so bright." -Petruchio.

"I know it is the sun that shines so bright." -Katherina

--William Shakespeare: The Taming of the Shrew

The first time I met Mitsuhide, I was balancing upside down on my hands while my master flung knives at me. You would think with such an introduction that our relationship would have nowhere to go but up.

You would be wrong.

"What did that one do to deserve this treatment?" The man (for I had yet to learn that this taunting stranger with platinum hair and cut-glass cheekbones was Akechi Mitsuhide - yes, 'that one') leaned carelessly against a tree. "Far be it from me to offer pointers on whichever brand of torture you favor, but this seems somewhat excessive. If you accidently nick an artery, it becomes a race against time to acquire the information before he bleeds to death."

"Training." Aki barely acknowledged the stranger's presence. He sent another dagger spinning end over end toward my throat. I shifted to a one-handed stance, caught the knife, flipped to my feet, and hurled it away.

It buried itself in the tree next to the stranger's smirking face.

I meant to do that.

Hey, it's not my fault he chose to lean next to the target.

The stranger didn't flinch. He pulled the dagger out of the tree and idly examined it. I tensed, readying myself in case he chose to lob it back in my direction. Instead, he simply spun it around his fingers, as if it were a baton, rather than a blade capable of reducing the number of digits on his hand.

Was this man a friend or an enemy? Enemies attack with swords and bullets, not teasing. But something about him made me feel... tense. No. Prickly. That was a better word for the shiver of worried anticipation that passed through me.

Danger, Will Robinson, danger!

I looked to Aki, hoping for a cue. Strangers approaching our campsite weren't a rarity, and they ranged from friendly travelers wishing for company to wandering bands of ronin, mistakenly thinking we'd be an easy target. Aki's relaxed posture suggested the stranger was of the former group. "Katsu, will you prepare some tea for Lord Akechi and me?"

Oh, this was Aki's 'penpal,' the infamous Mitsuhide. I'd been delivering messages between them for over four years without catching sight of more than the back of his head. Interesting... based on his silver hair, I had assumed that Mitsuhide was Aki's age, if not older, but this man seemed to be from my own generation.

I bowed respectfully (just because Mitsuhide was kind of snarky didn't negate his position as a General of the Oda... and, well, not to mention, Aki would scold me if I was rude to a guest) and turned toward the firepit as requested, but Mitsuhide's voice caused me to stop in my tracks.

"No need for that, old friend. It's your courier I was looking for. If you will allow me to question..." he paused, and those amber-gold eyes sent a long look at me, starting with the top of my balaclava, which hid my hair. His gaze travelled leisurely down to my feet, as if he, like Superman, possessed x-ray vision. That look upgraded my initial shiver to an artic chill. It felt like Mitsuhide had not only found all my secrets, but also discovered things about me that I didn't know myself. There was something about that stare that made me wish I had missed the tree and hit him. "If you will allow me to question her."