Be Silently Drawn || Remus Lupin & Hermione Granger

Chapter 37

It was like being struck by lightning.

Every nerve in Remus's body was set alight when his lips met Hermione's, only it wasn't pain jolting through him but pleasure, pure all-consuming pleasure that surged more strongly with the small moan she gave of surprise or satisfaction or both. His wolfish impulses went haywire. He was lost, overwhelmed, the wolf reveling as it took command and he completely forgot himself, forgot everything but his fierce hunger for her, his need to claim what was his.

He laid her down, kissing her hard, her skin deliciously soft as his hand ran up her thigh. Everything was sensation and instinct and that sweet, all-consuming pleasure — until Hermione suddenly yelped and pushed him away.

Her hand shot to her mouth and he froze, a flash of fear that was not his own cutting through the lustful haze clouding his mind. He stared down at her, disorientated. Her chest heaving, she examined the fingers she'd touched to her lips, and Remus came hurtling back to his senses when he realized she was checking for blood — he'd bitten her.

"Oh god." He hastily pulled away from her.

"It's okay. You didn't hurt me," she said quickly, but he jerked away from her when she reached for him, his wolfish impulses going haywire again at her touch.

He scrambled off her bed, the fear overcoming him all his own now and adding to the confusion of impulses firing within him. He'd never felt this way before, not even with Hermione. It was as if the effect she had on him had strengthened with the memories the rose had returned to him but everything was muddled. He didn't know if what he was feeling was passion or aggression, sexual desire or a craving for flesh, his instincts or the wolf's, or a combination of the above. All he knew was that these feelings were too intense, too volatile, too dangerous.

He staggered back toward the door. "I'm sorry, Hermione."

"It's okay, Remus," she said, climbing out of bed after him. "I know — the full moon is near."

"I shouldn't be here."

"Remus, wait."

He didn't have a choice. He turned to the door only to find that the rose's magic was still keeping him locked in the room.

With nowhere to go, he turned back to Hermione. She'd stopped short of him, surveying him cautiously from a few feet away. She was sensible to keep her distance. He hadn't just kissed her moments ago, he'd pounced on her. He wondered if she could see on his face the shadow of the wolf he felt thrashing mightily within him, how much he was struggling to hold it back.

And then Vivienne's ominous last words to him came rushing to his mind: You can't keep holding back forever. You can't keep caging yourself. You're going to break free eventually, whether you want to or not. . . .

She was right. He'd lost control with Hermione twice now — three times counting the incident in the D.A.D.A. classroom in the past. He needed to find a way out of here. He looked around frantically, searching the room and his knowledge of magic for a way to escape.

"Remus . . . are you all right?"

He stopped his frantic searching upon seeing Hermione's expression. He was scaring her, acting like the caged animal that he was.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. I'm fine now," he said, relaxing his posture and hiding his panic as best he could. He tried to calm himself by taking deep breaths, but it didn't help much considering he was only inhaling her intoxicating scent. He could do nothing but keep his distance and make sure they didn't touch again. "We should try to figure out a way to get out of here."

She frowned at him slightly. "But we . . . we need to talk about what happened."

"I'm sorry," he said, glancing down at the lip he'd bitten. Why did she have to affect him this way? And why was all this happening now? Why did he have to be locked in this room with her at precisely this time of the month when his emotions and impulses were so difficult to control? "I didn't mean to — to kiss you like that. I lost control."