Be Silently Drawn || Remus Lupin & Hermione Granger

Chapter 29

Remus couldn't concentrate. Sitting at his desk in his office at Hogwarts, he gave up going through his post and rested his head in his hands, unable to believe the situation he found himself in.

He did not look forward to meeting with Hermione tonight to prepare for the next session of Defense Club. It would be even worse than facing her in class yesterday. Because he would be alone with her this evening and he would have no choice but to deal with this problem, with these feelings he had for her, head on. Because he could no longer deny to himself that he did indeed have feelings for her.

Over the last few days of Christmas break he had done his best to delude himself into believing that perhaps he had just overreacted to his reaction to seeing Hermione kiss George, and perhaps he'd just read too much into the dream he'd had that same night of Hermione kissing him instead. He'd nearly succeeded in convincing himself that when he saw Hermione again he would probably find what he feared wasn't really true. But he knew when he'd nearly run into her in the Great Hall Monday morning at breakfast that it undoubtedly was. He'd taken one look at her and had practically run off to the staff table to avoid her.

Remus rubbed his temples, trying to ease some of his tension. How could he have not realized he had these feelings for her sooner? Maybe if he would have recognized this little problem earlier, he could have simply nipped those feelings in the bud. He'd gone all his life doing just that, pulling away from anyone he feared he could fall for, never letting himself get too close. How could he have let this happen with Hermione?

He couldn't figure out exactly when these feelings had first developed. He'd always admired Hermione for her intelligence and courage and compassionate nature, but he'd never looked at her in that way before. But the problem was he'd been spending too much time with her these last few months and, without meaning to, something had shifted in the way he saw her. He supposed it wasn't so surprising really that he could be attracted to her considering she was a brilliant and beautiful girl.

Remus continued massaging his temples as a memory of a conversation he'd once had with Dumbledore suddenly sprang to mind...

"I'll be bringing Harry here Saturday morning," the headmaster told Remus as they talked in the kitchen at the Burrow, the new headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix. "Have you written him? How is he coping?"

"He seems to be handling things as well as could be expected under the circumstances," Remus replied a bit heavily. "He has the Weasleys, of course, but Sirius was the closest thing to his own real family he had left, an irreplaceable link to his parents. Now that's he's gone..."

"He still has you, Remus. I daresay he is much fonder of you than you realize. It would do you both good to lean on each other during these difficult times. The loss of Sirius must be equally, if not more, devastating for you."

Remus looked away from Dumbledore's penetrating gaze. "I've learned to deal with loss over the years, but Harry... It isn't fair how much he's had to suffer and at such a young age. He's had to grow up too quickly."

"It is unjust what he has had to live through, yes. However, he will become a stronger and better man for it — much to Voldemort's detriment."

Movement outside the window caught their attention. Three figures had passed through the gate and were walking across the yard toward the house. Arthur Weasley and his son, Ron, were carrying a trunk between them, and beside the pair, carrying a small bag and sweeping her plait of brown hair back over her shoulder, was Hermione Granger. It appeared she'd be spending the rest of the summer holidays here at the Burrow.

"Speaking of growing up," said Dumbledore casually, "Miss Granger certainly has. She's become quite a beautiful young woman, hasn't she?"

Remus turned his gaze away from the window, frowning slightly. Though it was admittedly true what Dumbledore said about Hermione, he thought it a rather odd remark for the headmaster to make. He wasn't sure how to respond. Fortunately, Dumbledore didn't seem to expect an answer. He simply smiled at Remus before moving to the door to open up for Arthur, Ron, and Hermione...