PARTNERS || MAX VERSTAPPEN

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Scarlett POV: 
For the past few weeks, I've gone through a lot of therapy and preparations. The medical professionals were quite surprised at how fast I recovered.

My body was fit and it seemed like I didn't take a break for over a few months now. The only thing that does proves that I had an accident, is the memory loss.

By now I almost remember all of the previous events but some memories are still missing. 

I've still been away from the media all this time. Neither did I use my phone. I shut it off and put it in my drawer. It took me long enough to realize that I'm an actual race driver. And that the whole world knows me. But to be honest, I might not realise it until people on the street start calling my name. The only person who I had contact with, who was not my father or the medical professionals, was my manager. 

In the beginning, it was quite weird between us because I didn't recognize her immediately. A lot of things were blurry to me. But by now, I remember almost all of it. 

I just finished with another therapy session as my manager walked in. We decided to make a bigger step today, by going through my whole race driver history. Also, she said that there's something else she wanted to tell me. So, I was excited to see her today. 

"Not bad, you remember almost everything since last time. Good job. Have you talked to your therapist? How are you doing?" 

"I'm doing better. There is still room for improvement, though. But there always is. So, I'm satisfied with my progress for now." 

We were sitting on the balcony, drinking tea. My father wasn't home today. I don't know where he left to either. 

"There is something you wanted to tell me. What is it?" 

She took a sip of her tea and then handed me her tablet. 

"Since you left, a few races took places in July. After that the summer break lasted for almost the whole August. And in a few weeks, there is another race weekend. In the Netherlands. It's the home race of your teammate as well. Also, you won there last year." 

Race weekend. I've missed a few by now. But she showed me the standings. I was still in the Top three. That's good to know, but I want to experience that feeling again.

The adrenaline. The shiver that runs down my spine before the lights go out. The pressure. The risk that it could be my last time stepping into the car. The excitement to stand on the podium. Hear the anthem of my country. And see all of the people who are cheering for me. Prove myself that all the pain and tears were worth it. That I am worth it. 

My teammate. He is a big topic as well. There's always this weird feeling of missing somebody when somebody mentions him. Or when I think about him. I still don't have any memories of him. Neither did I ask about him. I don't know. Fear? Probably. 

Like that wouldn't be enough, he kept showing up in my dreams. And I always wake up with warm tears running down my face. 

Nobody knows. I wouldn't tell that anybody. Not my father, not my therapist. To be honest, I'd be glad to forget about it. But I can't. He keeps following me everywhere I go. Maybe he is also a reason why I want to be back at the track again. 

I looked over to the deep blue ocean, which I could see from the balcony. The waters were calmer than usual today. 

For a moment I closed my eyes. I took a deep breath and listened to the waves. It's a thing I'm used to do when my heart starts beating faster. Close my eyes and try to calm myself down.

The palm of my hands were sweaty, my heart was beating fast and thousand thoughts went through my mind. 

But then it stopped.