The Oncelers Affair

An Unexpected Visiter

2 weeks after the wedding, the Onceler starting started to feel a little sick and thought he had too many muddy margaritas. He told Shrek about his nausea but Shrek brushed it off as being hungover. The Onceler starting throwing up all day and the nausea was still there for a couple of days. Another week went by of this nausea. The Onceler started to notice that he was a little bloated and had gained 10 pounds in the last month. He thought it was from all the muddy margaritas he had and brushed it off and said he was gonna start losing weight. He started a gym membership at "Thneedville Gym and Spa" and went on a diet. The Onceler noticed his stomach getting tender, and assumed it was his 6 pack coming in, so he continued this behavior. Another month went by and the Onceler noticed some muscle coming in! But the bad news was that he didn't lose the weight. Onceler kept doing this for another month! 3 months after the wedding, the Onceler noticed his stomach was starting to bulge out. "Oh no, have I been doing something wrong with my fitness?" questioned the Onceler. He told Shrek and Shrek got immediately concerned because his dad went through a similar thing and it turned out to be a tumor! Shrek rushed Onceler to the doctor and the doctor did an ultrasound and saw nothing and told him "this is normal for men your age, so don't worry about it. You just have an infection of the intestines so it will make you bloated for up to a year and cause stomach pains." The doctor gave him of medicine to take every night until he noticed these symptoms go away. The bottom of the bottle said Heroin. A couple months went by and the Onceler kept noticing his stomach growing , but he knew it was the infection. He started feeling tickles around his intestine area and was thoroughly annoyed with this infection, he was ready for it to be over. Shrek supported the Oncelers body and how he was feeling during these hard times. The Onceler assumed he was given the wrong perscription because his stomach was huge, he was anxious that the doctor wasn't careful and missed a tumor because he knew an infection wouldn't cause this. The morning of 5/29, the Onceler had booked an appointment with the doctor on 6/11. The Onceler kept having extreme stabbing pains in his tender stomach near his intestines on his throbbing stomach. It was worse that any pain he had ever had. His stomach was the size of a watermelon. He was ready to pop. Maybe he swallowed a watermelon seed? He was ready for his doctors appointment. Shrek grew increasingly nervous for his husband. On the morning of 6/8, he started having shooting stabbing pains in his massive stomach, he couldn't move. Maybe he was dying from a tumor a bad doctor missed. At least his doctors appointment was soon. These continued until 6/9, where he was sitting in his bathtub trying to ooze the pain. All of a sudden, the Onceler started pooping in the bathtub? He got out immediately and went on the toilet, trying not to have been standing for too long so his aching belly wouldn't hurt. After 10 minutes, the Onceler felt immediate relief. A big kerplunk spanked the toilet and his bum with water. Was he just constipated for many months? The Onceler felt another coming out, so he pushed and it also dropped and felt even more relief. He knew that he was finished with his business. He got up to wipe his rear end when he found a fright in the toilet. What is that!?!? He was flabbergasted looking into the toilet. Is that... a baby!?!??! The baby was beautiful... short dark hair with a top hat and sunglass, wearing a long red coat with silky white gloves. He told Shrek as fast as he could, it was a boy too. They both decided on the name: Willy Wonka. What a beautiful name!