I used to only write poetry just to write it never writing for myself.
The meaningless words written on the page would get drowned out by others.
Word after word. Never feeling what was written.
I would stare at the blank, meaningless words and lie to myself that it had deep meaning.
Poem after poem, Lie after lie, I started losing myself. I started getting lost in greyscale poetry of what I wanted to feel.
I would read the poems back to myself and continue to hallucinate a version of myself without the pain and suffering.
A version of myself that didn't go through discrimination and bullying.
A version of myself that was a fraud.
I would read those hollow poems masking who I really am.
I was so deep in this hole I had dug for myself about myself.
Struggling to get back up and face the problems instead of hiding them.
Taking the mask off and being able to see the sun.
-Marz <3
